How Porn Convinced Me Sexual Assault Was My Fault

Friday, October 16, 2015

I am sharing this in hopes that it helps someone. There are many ways pornography has affected my life, this is just one of the ways. I like to focus on all my blessings (of which I have many); however, every now and then there is something I feel very strongly about that may not be as pleasant or comfortable to talk about. However, often those unpleasant things are the very things that need to be talked about most. This is one of those things. Way too many people tiptoe around the subject of pornography, and that fear of speaking out is enhancing the amount of porn-caused pain in the world drastically. We need to stop being afraid to talk. By sharing this story, I am very publicly saying that I am not afraid to open my mouth and declare that porn is evil, porn is dangerous, and porn kills love.   

The first time I really saw porn was when I was 17. 

I say "really" because it was the first time I saw it on purpose. 

In a desperate attempt to understand something that was done to me, I found porn. I never in a million years thought I would watch a porn video, but at the time it seemed like the only thing I could do.

His words, "You are supposed to like this" ran through my head over and over again as I typed. I didn't like it, I said it hurt, I said I wanted him to stop, and he said I was 'supposed' to like it?