Confessions of a Teenage Bride

Friday, May 9, 2014

10 Things Your Mom Never Told You



Pregnant.



There it was, clear as day, two blue lines staring back at me from the small pregnancy test I had just purchased.



 I double checked...

One line = not pregnant.
Two lines = pregnant.

Yup, I was definitely pregnant.

My heart was pounding.
My head was spinning.
My stomach was churning.

I was nervous, excited, scared, and ecstatic all at the same time. 

This was actually happening! After years of dreaming, preparing and anticipating this day, it was finally here. I was going to be a Mother.

Little did I know that in 9 short months I would begin the most exhausting, life changing, heart wrenching, but undescribably rewarding journey of my life.

In 9 months I would learn the price of motherhood first hand. I would know exactly what it takes to be a mother. I would gain a whole new understanding of and gratitude for the beautiful woman I call mother.

I would learn about things mothers experience, that we often are unaware occur.

Those things your mom never told you.

1. You made her cry... a lot. She cried when you found out she was pregnant. She cried as she gave birth to you. She cried when she first held you. She cried with happiness. She cried with fear. She cried with worry. She cried because she feels so deeply for you. She felt your pain and your happiness and she shared it with you, whether you realized it or not.  

2. She wanted that last piece of pie. But when she saw you look at it with those big eyes, and lick your mouth with that tiny tongue, she couldn't eat it. She knew it would make her much happier to see your little tummy be filled, than hers. 

3. It hurt. When you pulled her hair, it hurt; when you grabbed her with those sharp fingernails that were impossible to cut, it hurt; when you bit her while drinking milk, that hurt too. You bruised her ribs when you kicked her from her belly, you stretched her stomach out for 9 months, you make her body contract in agonizing pain as you entered this world.   

4. She was always afraid. From the moment you were conceived she did all in her power to protect you. She became your mama bear. She was that lady that wanted to say no when the little girl next door asked to hold you, and who cringed when she did, because in her mind no one could keep you as safe as her. Her heart skipped two beats with your first steps. She stayed up late to make sure you got home safe, and woke up early to see you off to school. With every stubbed toe and little stumble she was close by ready to snatch you up with every bad dream or late night fever she was there to make sure you were okay.   

5. She knows she's not perfect. She is her own worse critic. She knows all her flaws and sometimes hates herself for them. She is hardest on herself when it comes to you though. She wanted to be the perfect mom, to do nothing wrong, but because she is human, she made mistakes. She is probably still trying to forgive herself for them. She wishes with her whole heart that she could go back in time and do things differently, but she can't, so be kind to her, and know she did the best she knew how to do.   

6. She watched you as you slept. There were nights when she was up till 3:00am praying that you would finally fall asleep. She could hardly keep her eyes open as she sang to you, and she would beg you to "please please fall asleep." Then when you would finally fall asleep, she would lay you down and all her tiredness would disappear for a short second as she sat by your bedside looking down at your perfect cherub face, experiencing more love than she knew was possible, despite her worn out arms, and aching eyes.  

7. She carried you a lot longer than 9 months.You needed her too. So she did. She would learn to hold you while she cleaned, she would learn to hold you while she ate, she would even hold you while she slept because it was the only way she could sometimes. Her arms would get tired, her back would hurt, but she held you still because you wanted to be close to her. She snuggled you, loved you, kissed you and played with you. You felt safe in her arms, you were happy in her arms, you knew you were loved in her arms, so she held you, as often and as long as you needed. 

8. It broke her heart every time you cried.There was no sound as sad as your cries, or sight as horrible as the tears streaming down your perfect face. She did all in her power to stop you from crying, and when she couldn't stop your tears her heart would shatter into a million little pieces. 

9. She put you first. She went without food, without showers, and without sleep. She always put your needs before her own. She would spend all day meeting your needs, and by the end of the day, she would have no energy left for herself. But the next day she would wake up and do it all over again because you meant that much to her.  

10. She would do it all again. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs anyone can do, and it will take you to your very limits sometimes. You cry, you hurt, you try, you fail, you work and you learn. But, you also experience more joy that you thought was possible and feel more love than your heart can contain. Despite all the pain, grief, late nights, and early mornings you put your mom through, she would do it all again for you because you are worth it to her. So this mothers day, tell your mom thank you, let her know on her special day that you love her, she can never hear it to many times.


38 comments:

  1. Wow! That is pretty much all I can say right now. Wow!

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    1. GREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318



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    2. GREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318


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  2. Amen!! Your entire list is right on! And I'd like to add to #4 that the fear doesn't stop when our children grow up. I have two adult children and I still worry about them every day! I'm sure I always will.

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    1. You make a great point!! I don't see how I could ever stop worrying about my little baby, I know she is still small, but even when she gets big, she'll always be my little baby!!

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    2. My daughter just turned 28, with a daughter of her own and I still make her call me and do "monster checks" before I pull out of her driveway. All I can say is ..."wait for it"..…

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  3. You are so cute!! Love all your posts!! Newest follower :)
    xoxo
    -Leah @ fukofukafamily.blogspot.com

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    1. Awe thanks! YOU are so sweet!! I'm glad you enjoy them. :)

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  4. And that "is" the rest of the story!!!

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  5. This is so beautiful. Thank you!

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    1. Awe! Thank you so much! I am so glad you enjoyed it:)

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  6. I haven't read all your posts, but "Modest/hottest" is the one that was my doorway. I am certainly older than you by a LONG shot, and I have a different take on some things. I realize that you are in a FAR different place than I (who wasn't married until late 20's, and not a mom until late 30's), and sometimes we WRITE what will be great writing, and embellish or over-decorate on our points.

    Given that, I have a correction and some comments:
    1. Shouldn't that be "cried when SHE found out she was pregnant," not when YOU found out she was pregnant?

    2. The last piece of pie. I'm hoping that you aren't giving the tiny baby PIE, that this is looking ahead. And I hope you aren't swayed by those big eyes, because little babies quickly learn to use that against you. When my gorgeous darling is giving me the angel face and "May I PLEEEase?" expression, and it is for a Coke right before bed, or candy before dinner, I CANNOT be swayed by that, but make my decision and stand by it, not matter what!! (that comes in handy during the pre-teen and teenage years)

    4. Afraid ... snatch them up when they stumble... I've been reading about this general topic - I was always one to stand back just a bit, because I know that there is more to be learned from picking yourself up, or having fallen than when one is rescued. and this applies to crawling babies - if they get on the arm of the couch, if it doesn't look like a fall will break their neck, there is nothing wrong with a tumble to learn about balance, or limits. Not that I won't comfort a scare or an injury, but sometimes just a comforting word, or a hand on them (not picking them up) is enough.

    6. Watched you while you slept. Yes I did that. But I didn't beg them to sleep. You don't want to be one of those poor moms who still has to lay down and do a just-so routine with a 7 year old, while the 5 year old needs you, and the baby needs to be fed... it can get ugly quickly. Babies gotta learn to get themselves to sleep. Because if I don't take care of me well enough, it won't be good for baby. And sometimes, "safe in the crib" has to be enough to walk away and go meet MY needs. (not wants)

    (I have to continue in another post due to size constraints)

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    1. It's always nice to have varying perspectives. But it's also so easy to feel our way is the "right" way and moms who do it differently will just learn that our way is right with time. I married right out of college, became a young mom, and now with five kids, I have to say I still do things the way the author of the blog does them! I give my kids the treat I might have liked to have. I hate seeing them get injured, and while I let them learn a lot on their own, I do worry all the time about them. I watch them sleep, and I take care of them when they have trouble sleeping. Even if I lose sleep. And when they cry, I hold them ... even at 2 a.m. Because I don't think wiping those tears forms a bad habit. Their needs come first -- not wants. Needs. So yeah, theirs come first. I read the Babywise books. But in many ways, I think a gentle, warm approach is also just fine. And my kids are also turning out to be respected, smart, funny, confident, and outgoing. So I guess I would say that Natasha's vision of raising her daughter with the same heart she has as a young mom doesn't necessarily mean she's going to have to change her approach with time. Both methods - and many others - seem to produce pretty good kids. Cheers.

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    2. YardeMom, very unnecessary.

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  7. (Continued from Previous)

    8. Crying broke my heart. Yes, when the child was screaming over the very-necessary IV line; when baby is overwhelmed or got a big scare, or when they have some pain or injury that I am powerless to help, yes, that really got to me, still gets to me. But when that adorable child/infant just wants to be held, and it is 2 a.m., and is obviously just wanting to be held... no, I am not going to play that game. Mom and Dad need sleep, and I don't want a 2 a.m. "hold-me-habit" to start... no, I can steel my heart to those tears.

    9. Put your needs first. Sometimes, yes; and sometimes I don't NEED those shoes, but they do, and children's shoes aren't always cheap, but don't be a slave to putting their needs first. a) at some point they need to learn they are NOT the center of the universe - others will appreciate; b) it helps with learning delayed gratification c) when I am about to throw up because I haven't eaten and I really need to, and baby is having a tantrum because I *haven't come to get them out of the crib yet, *haven't started playing legos yet, *haven't taken them to a friend's house; yeah, then their needs just have to wait. I remind myself that babies are found in earthquake rubble - alive - without a diaper change, bottle or bath in hours or even days... and I know they will live a few minutes while I eat so I don't get ill.

    You are probably in the majority with your thinking and approach. I would highly recommend "On Becoming Babywise" and "The Baby Whisperer" as resources. Keep in mind you are IN the baby days, headed for raising adults. I kept trying to foster independence and smarts about how to fix whatever bind they were in. I have highly respected teens, smart, funny, and not fearful about much at all, confident in their ability to face things, talk to adults, and have difficult conversations.
    Good luck to you!

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    1. YardeMom, hated seeing your rude comments. Loved everything this author had to say. Feel sorry for your kids.

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    2. I think Yardemom isn't getting "it". These 10 Things are not because we spoiled our kids I'm the other Anonymous who waited til I was 28 for mine. I always wanted the best for her, but it was pretty much K Mart til she could pay for it -she never was a gimme kid. I worried about her but didnt wrap her in bubble wrap. The only spanking she ever got was when she broke free in a busy parking lot and I spanked her all the way back to the car. Lesson learned. I was present for the requisite body piercings. Lesson learned and I never raised a hand. But I was there, just in case. She's 28 and I still cry and worry about her. I want her life to be better than mine - she's getting there but sometimes she can be dumb as a bowl of mice. She's beautiful, strong and is afraid of nothing.... but HER daughter's wellbeing. Tonight I'm sitting alone...she has adopted her husband's family's holiday traditions and they go to a cabin most holidays and I sit here and cry; sometimes quietly sometimes aloud and never thought I would not be the matriarch of our family. So YardeMom, ya see those 10 Things - they don't end until you do.

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  8. Wow, that is about all I can say to the previous comment. Natasha you have now allowed yourself, your family, your beliefs, and much more to be read and critiqued from every angle. I hope you can take the "advice" (including that of my own) with a grain of salt. My wife and I have been married for 8 years, have 4 children, we're under 30 and can relate to much of your story. Find out what works best for your family. I applaud your efforts. God bless.

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  9. Yardemom, I understand you are trying to offer to help her and give her a new perspective. I'm sure it was good intentions. However, she is a young mother and just like the baby, needs to find her own way and see the type of mother she will become. Motherhood can lead to different mothers such as one who teaches the baby to fend for itself (teaching less self-reliance on the mother, more independence, has its pros/cons) or a mother who they know will always be there for them (its pros/cons too). At the end of the day, the choice is hers. :) Let her find her own way, just like you say with the baby (don't pick it up when it falls but let it learn on its own).

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  11. I'm a guy and I think that everyone should read this. Not everything is about looks, true beauty comes from within. Love is not something you see, it's something you feel deep down.

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  12. This is great!! Stumbled here on accident, but have enjoyed what I've read so far!! The Lord blesses us greatly!!!! :)

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  13. Thank you for writing your thoughts on motherhood.

    I have really enjoyed reading your work.

    Keep it up!

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  14. I love this! I'm going to print it and have my 12YO son read it. :)

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  15. So I found this on HuffPost...So congrats...I'm a lot older than you ;) but you really touched on a lot of things I felt about being a mommy...Thank you for saying it in a way I couldn't!...

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  16. I saw and read your article shared on Lacth mom FB page. Thank you so much. I never thought that I've done so many things for my son and I didn't even notice it until you wrote this. Thank you, you made me happy although I cried reading this. Thank you ♥

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  17. Thank you very much.
    I'm going to call my mom and say I love you

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  18. someone copycat this post without giving credit to you! instagram shazwanihamid

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  19. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  20. Stumbled up on this. Loved it. I didn't become a mom until I was 37.... but we are exactly the same. And we must have had the same kind of moms. She did all of these things for me too....it just took having kids to realize it. (Evidently sometimes age doesn't matter regarding perspective). Thanks for putting all of these things I feel all the time...into such perfect words.

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  21. Fuck your site and fuck your article, too. I wrote a comment where I tried to be as gentle as I could, I pressed publish and it disappeared! Your article is full of rose-nozzle! Our mothers do their best, because they're our mothers, no matter how obvious this is! If my mom read this, she'd say "I've never thought of it"!
    I'll leave it as Anonymous for no reason.

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  22. How to Get Your Ex Back After a Breakup or Divorce.! Am giving this testimony cos am so happy, I want to thank Dr Frank Ojo for the great thing he has done in my life , he brought happiness to my life .! A very big problem occurred in my Marriage seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. TEMPLEOFLOVEANDPROSPERITY@GMAIL.COM. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email Him @: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com . My name is Amanda Bryan, me & my family live in Toronto, Canada. Thanks for reading, and best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
  23. My husband broke up with me last week, i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him broke up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think use wirchcraff on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to get back my man until i went to NY to see a friend and who was having the same problem with me but she latter got her Husband back and i asked her how she was able to get her husband back and she told me that their was a powerful spell caster in Africa name Dr.Unity that he help with love spell in getting back lost lover back and i decided to contacted the same Dr.Unity and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my man back and i did it although i doubted it but i did it and the Dr told me that i will get the result after 48hours, and he told me that my husband was going to call me by 9pm in my time and i still doubted his word, to my surprise my husband really called me and told me that he miss me so much, Oh My God i was so happy, and today i am happy with my man again and we are joyfully living together as one good family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity of Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that good spell casters still exist and Dr.Unity is one of the good spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are there and your lover is turning you down, or you have your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore contact the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity on his email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com and he will answer you, i am a living testimony and i will continue to testify of his goodness in my family,he turn my family to paradise and today we are all happy together Dr.Unity i say thank you in one million times thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi everyone,fix your broken relationship and marriage right now no matter how hopeless your situation seems!! I am so excited sharing my testimony with everyone here about how i got my husband back after a divorce!!!
    I am Natasha Hayes by name and i reside here in United States of America.I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{Unityspelltemple@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past{7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our marriage was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster Dr Unity. So, i will advice you out there, if you have any problem contact Dr Unity and i guarantee you that he will help you and you will be the next to share your testimony to every one in the world!!. Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on: +2348072370762.

    ReplyDelete
  25. GREETINGS everyone out there.. My name is Sarah Gomez FROM CANADA i will never forget the help Prophet Ayelala rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Prophet Ayelala help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Ayelala i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Prophet Ayelala a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Prophet Ayelala to save my marriage. Contact him via Email: ( Ayelala7demons@gmail.com ) Or Reach him on whatsapp: +2347031894318


    ReplyDelete
  26. HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK?? Best online spell caster Reviews??
    I'm a citizen of UK, I'm so excited my husband is back after a break up.. When my husband broke up with me i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him break up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think use witchcraft on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to get back my man until i went to London to see a friend and who was having the same problem with me but she latter got her Husband back and i asked her how she was able to get her husband back and she told me that their was a powerful spell caster called Dr.Unity that he help with love spell in getting back lost lover back, and i decided to contact the same Dr.Unity and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my man back and i did it although i doubted it but i did it and the Dr told me that i will get the result after 28hours, and he told me that my husband was going to call me by 9pm in my time and i still doubted his word, to my surprise my husband really called me and told me that he miss me so much, Oh My God! i was so happy, and today i am happy with my man again and we are joyfully living together as one good family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr.Unity of Unityspelltemple@gmail.com, he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that good spell casters still exist and Dr.Unity is one of the good spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are there and your lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr.Unity on his email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on +2348072370762..

    ReplyDelete