What I Gave Up The Day I Got Married

Friday, February 14, 2014
I was married at the young age of 19. Yup, I know... besides possibly setting a new record... I am also "crazy." But, don't worry, you don't need to tell me that, I already know. In fact, I've heard it all:

"Didn't you just get out of high school?"

"It was just yesterday that you were in diapers!! You're just a baby!"

"Don't you think you should date more before making such a big decision?" 

"Are you sure about this? It's a lot of responsibility."

"Oh wow, engaged? Wait... Really? But you're only 19." 

"Are you even old enough to sign marriage certificate?"

"Are you pregnant or something?!"

"How do you know he's what you want? You haven't even tested the waters!" 

"You're too young to know what real love is."

And perhaps the most common statement of all: 

"Don't you think you'll regret not living up your single years?"

Followed by: 

I wish I waited a bit longer to get married and just let myself have fun. You can't take back these years, you're giving them up to get married, you can wait you know." 

To all those people who doubted my decision and told me I was "giving it up".

You were absolutely right.


I gave up my heart. The moment I said "I Do" my love was no longer my own. I gave another imperfect human being the ability to take me higher than I've ever been... But also the power too crush me to a million little pieces. 

I gave up my privacy. I went home on June 8th in someone else's car, to sleep in someone else's bed, and breath someone else's air. It would never, from that moment on, be just "me" anymore. It was now me and him, him and me. It was now our family, our home, our decisions. It's funny though, because the moment "I" became a "we" I realized what it really meant to be happy. 

I gave up my name. The name I was known for my whole life, didn't define me anymore. I would be known by his name now. I was his: to cherish, love, hold, laugh with, cry with,  provide for, and protect. 

I gave up my secrets: my weaknesses, my thoughts, my mistakes, the things I hid from the world, someone now would know. But, someone would also know exactly how to help me, love me, and comfort me. Someone would know me so well that they would know what I needed without me ever asking. I would lose all the hidden parts of me, and gain a perfect understanding and love from someone else. 

I gave up my agenda. I would have to cancel plans, rearrange my schedule, work longer hours, go to the grocery store when the car was available, and cook dinner instead of taking a nap. And as the clock was ticking I would come to understand the reason I was given time in the first place.

I would give up dating different people. I no longer was available for anyone to take out. I was done meeting "new people" and "potential spouses" because I had found mine. Yes, I could have dated more, yes, there's lots of great people out there that I didn't meet, but no, there's no one else as perfect for me as my Ash. And yes, I can know that even though I dated less years than most people and yes I did know that when I picked him, which was WHY I picked him. 

I gave up awkward dinner conversations and replaced them with evenings laying in my hubby's arms, with a round belly and no make up... sporting his sweats and an oversized T-shirt I won at some jazz game, eating microwave popcorn and watching netflix and feeling more beautiful than a celebrity on the red carpet. 

I gave up my money, my time, my need to be right, my stubbornness, my life, my whole self. 

And yes I did give up YEARS of my life that I can NEVER get back or change. 

BUT the difference between me and you is I don't regret one day, minute or second of those years. 

If anything... I wish I had began this incredible journey called marriage sooner, because nothing I have ever done, or could ever do, has filled me with as much love, happiness and peace as this. Yes it can be harder than I ever imagined it would be and I am challenged every day to be a better more selfless person that I am, but my life has taken on more meaning than I knew it could and I have become more complete than I thought was possible. 

And if given the choice... I would do it all over again. 

I would "give it all up" in a heartbeat. 





450 comments:

  1. Thank you for writing this! I was married at 19 to and got the same questions! We have not been married for 9 years and it still was the best thing I have ever done!

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    1. Thank you! After writing this post so many people like you have told me how they were married at 19 as well! True love doesn't have an age limit! Congrats on 9 years! That's awesome!

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    2. I also was married at 19 so was my husband and I would not change a thing. We are close to celebrating our 13 yr anniversary.

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    3. I met my husband when I was about to turn 19. We dated 2 1/2 years & he was the only one I ever dated. I DO NOT regret one moment!! We have been married 6 years this year and I can't imagine my life without him. He is and will remain the best thing that has ever happened to me.

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    4. I met my husband at 14 married him at 20 and we had a son at 21 and I wouldn't change one second of our life. We will be celebrating 5 years married this May and I hope God blesses us with many many more!

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    5. What an awesome article! Thanks! I got married when I was 16 and my hubby was 22. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary. Like you said marriage is not always easy but its so worth it!

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    6. This is really cute! I was married at 16, yes I said 16! Lol. Although I was in fact pregnant we still planned to wed before the unexpected pregnancy, we just bumped the date a little... but now having 9, 8, and 7yr old kids we are still going strong celebrating this December our 9 year wedding anniversary as well! I wouldn't change a thing either, so congrats and you can't make everyone happy, everyone has to try and give their to sense but in the end we are statistics proved wrong! ;)

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    7. Great article! I got married at 18. Funny we had the same question except it was 35 years ago this month! I wouldn't change it one bit.

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  2. Sorry I wrote this on my phone I meant, We have NOW been married for 9 years :)

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  3. This is Wonderful! I didn't get the your too young stuff before I was married because where I come from it's the norm to get married young, but I got it all the time after I was married and moved to where my husband was from, and four years and two kids later I love him even more now than I did then! Thanks for writing this and putting it so beautifully!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! I love hearing success stories like yours because it proves how marrying the right person is much more important than the time in your life you marry. :)

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  4. This is the best!! I will be twenty when I get married in July, and my fiancé and I get those questions all the time. Everyone thinks we are crazy to get married in college. And, when we got engaged, I got a whole lot of "but you are still a teenager!" comments. We have been together for three and a half years, and I know that marriage will be amazing! Thank you for writing all of the things I think time someone tells me that I am "wasting my youth" by marrying young.

    sydneyeyrich.blogspot.com

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    1. Congrats on your engagement! Sounds like you both will be wonderful together! Being married is the best, I wish you the very best! Thank you for your appreciation of this post, it means a lot.

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  5. Amazing. This is what I love to see. I have been with my husband for 7 years in October, and we just recently got married in 2013. I am 20 years old. No matter your age, you can find you love. 14-99, it doesn't matter. And this proves how amazingly happy you are.

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    1. Congrats on your 7 years together! I totally agree that love comes at all ages and stages! Thanks for taking the time to read, and share your story on my blog.

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  6. In Love With This! I got married at 17..It was 12 days before my 18th birthday (and I was not pregnant). It was the only time do it between schools in the Navy. I know I was super young and so many people told don't do it. We had the support of our parents though because they knew we truly loved each other. He is in the Navy and we've traveled so many amazing places and experienced so much together. We've also grown so much as people too. I love that we got married young because that means we get to find ourselves together. We get to make mistakes together and we always have someone there to hold our hands. Being a Navy wife is hard especially with deployments but that makes me stronger and and our marriage stronger. We've been together for 4 years and our 2 year anniversary is coming up in July. I've had friends from high school ask me if I regret it yet and its a big fat NO! I'm 19 living in Hawaii with my best friend and love of my life experiencing the world and supporting ourselves completely. What other 19 year old can say that? We are so blessed. I can't wait for the future! Stories like this make me proud to be young wife!

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    1. I love what you said about finding ourselves together. I could not agree more! I think that for me, and it sounds like you too, growing together has been a positive thing. I can't think of how much more difficult going through hard growing experiences on my own would be. Thanks for sharing this with me!

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    2. You have a very parallel life to mine. I got married at 18 to my Navy man. He had just finished training and was headed to his first tour. We moved to Hawaii less than a month after marrying. That extra challenge of being a military spouse can really strengthen you and your marriage. This June we will celebrate 18 years and every time he comes home it feels like we are newlyweds!

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  7. Love this! I was also married at 19, and even though I'm LDS there were many people who didn't understand. I couldn't agree more with what you said. When you've found someone you love, who you want to hold and cherish for all of time and eternity, then what are you waiting for? Love it love it!

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts! I am LDS as well, but still got these comments. I always took marriage seriously though because of my belief that it last forever, and I think that also helped people understand that when I made the choice, even though young, I was in it for the long haul. :)

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    2. I'm LDS too! I'm 19 & I just got married in December 2013. It was surprising that I had people ask me the same things even though I went to BYU-I & most mormons get married young. I've been with my husband for 5 years now, & everyone in our ward was still surprised! I even had some people question whether or not we were actually worthy to get married in the temple!! Rude. But we love our new life together!(: I've learned not to let other people dictate your happiness.

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  8. I was also 19 on my wedding day, only 18 when I got engaged. We've been married almost 8 months now and are expecting our first baby in May...wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! We also had a lot of people questioning our sanity for marrying so young, but we felt it was what God wanted us to do :) we shouldn't be afraid, no matter how many people try to discourage us, because God is the one who brings young couples together in His timing. Thank you for posting this, I hope it encourages young couples out there who are considering marriage in the very near future :)

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    1. You hit it on the head when you said, "we shouldn't be afraid, no matter how many people try to discourage us, because God is the one who brings young couples together in His timing." I firmly believe that if you follow God, you can't go wrong. Thank you for all you said.

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  9. Thanks for this post! I also got all of these and more. I started chasing my husband when I was 17 (about a month before graduation). A year and a half later at 19, we were married for eternity. Despite the fact that he's 11 years older than me, we knew it was right. We've been married for just over a year and we still get funny looks and comments, but people try to bite their tongues a little bit after you're married. We had to stop caring what people thought a long time ago. We actually love to announce our age difference whenever we meet someone new because the reactions are hilarious. Most men will glare at my husband. Most women will look shocked for a second and then say, "Age doesn't matter anyway." Now we're expecting our first baby, which is a much better ice-breaker than the age thing. We are just grateful to have each other. We laugh together, cry together, play together, work together, and we are growing together. I wouldn't have it any other way!
    We try to spread the joy of marriage and family through our blog: lucasandmary.com

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    1. Every person is different, and every couple has their own unique story. I loved hearing about yours, just shows me again that there are many successful stories of people who have married young. Congrats on your baby!

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  10. I was married at 18 and we're celebrating our 20th anniversary this year. We have 10 kids and life is amazing! There are hard moments, but we get through them together! I don't regret any of it. I would absolutely do it all again!

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    1. 20 years and 10 kids! Wow that's outstanding. Congrats! I can't wait to look back on many years of happiness like you are able to now. Thanks for sharing this and reading my blog.

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  11. I love this! Thank you for writing this, I am 19 and my fiance and I are planning a wedding this July. We have been together for 4 years and I'd give everything up just to be with my bestfriend.

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    1. Thank you! Congrats on your engagement and upcoming wedding. Being married is the best and I am always so happy to hear when someone is taking that big step. I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing your story with me.

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  12. Many years ago when we were married, we were asked many of those questions and more. I was 18 when we got married. We have been married now for 29 years. I wouldn't trade my experience for anyone's. We have 4 wonderful children who have brought us so much joy, and a few sorrows. The good times definitely outweigh the hard times. Marriage is hard work sometimes, but oh the happiness it can bring on a daily basis. Absolutely no regrets here. Life is good!

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    1. I love hearing people comment on how long they have now been married, even though they were married young. 29 years and going strong, very impressive. I agree that good times will always outweigh the bad. If you look for the good, their is so much to be grateful for in a marriage. Thank you for sharing the joy marriage has brought you with me.

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  13. What a wonderful read! It is not an easy thing to be married so young, but I believe that there can be more grace and mercy for each other. Being so young and married. I married at 18 years old and all of this was true for me as well. One difference I believe happened with all the questions coming my way was that I was completely certain of what I was choosing to do with my life. Being constantly asked made me extremely sure of how I felt and the choice I was making was a lifer choice. So when the problems came up I knew I was going to work through them not run from them. Year 7 was the hardest and every couple has that time I believe, however we both decided when we were that young couple that this is what we both want for our entire life. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary and the military has us apart right now, but when the other half of me returns I cant wait to be in his arms again continuing our life long journey.

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    1. You are right, it is not easy, but it is well worth it in my eyes. I love a couple things you said. First, that you have more grace and mercy for each other. That couldn't be more true! Because neither of you have established you own system and home, or even daily routine, individually you get to together. I think that makes the transition to marriage much easier! Second, I loved how you said all the questions helped you realize even more than you did before that this is what you wanted. That is a great way to look at it, and looking back I feel like that happened to me as well. Thank so much for your thoughts on this.

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    2. I was 17 when I got married an heard all those things plus more even my family talked down to me about it, but me an my husband will be married four years in April an I wouldn't change a thing we have three amazing little boys that we adore! An yes it can be hard an the first few years seem the hardest adjusting to it not just being you, but it can be done of you work at it!

      I still don't understand why its such a big deal to get married young because in the olden days it was normal to be married off at 15 now its a crime to get married young! People are always saying it needs to go back to the good old days heck were just trying to take them back there lol.

      Congratulations on getting married an don't let anyone stand in your way!

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  14. Why do all the girls with this mentality have to be so hard to find?

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    1. They are out there! Keep looking, I've learned the best things often are hard to find, but worth the effort in the end!

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  15. Got married when I was 20 and my wife was 21. Later this year will be 15 years for us. We waited until nearly 30 to have kids, now we have a 4 and year old who are the loves of our lives. We were even from different countries (heck, continents) and had to spend a lot of time apart during our "dating" years. (between 17 and 20). Sometimes you just know. I think sometimes people are threatened by "young love" because most of them aren't mature enough at that age to actually love another human being that deeply. People mature at different ages and as I get older I realize many people are well into their 30s or older before they can drop that teenage ego enough to make the necessary sacrifices for a real relationship to work.

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    1. I LOVE your story because it shows how much you had against you, yet you held on to each other through it all and here you are 15 years later. I love that. Thanks for sharing that with me.

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  16. Me n mine have been together since we were 17 & 18, had our first baby when i was 19 he was 20, married at 21 & 22, have now been together ten years and married six of them, having our third and last baby in october....we knew we were it for each other back when we were 17 & 18, nobody else can tell you when the right time or age is to get married, when u know, u know :)

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    1. I agree, when you know, you know. That is how it was for me, I knew the very first date we went on. I felt like I had known him forever. It's a great feeling to experience that type of love. I'm glad you found it for yourself. :)

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  17. Love this! What a great post. :)

    Thank you!
    Mariah Hopkins
    http://www.fashionbymariah.com/2014/03/neon-loving.html

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  18. Absolutely loved this! I was married at 19 as well and I would do it all over again!

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    1. Thank you! I'm amazed by how many people were married the same age as me.

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  19. I love this and I agree completely! I was married at 18, 2 months after my high school graduation and it was such a gift from God...each night my husband and I say how lucky we are to have been able to start marriage as soon as we did! I got the same comments (especially the "are you pregnant?!" comment, and no I was not ;) ) but I also got a lot of support from people who had done the same thing and are now in some of the most successful marriages I've ever seen!

    Thanks for writing this :)

    Meagan Palmer
    www.noveltiesandtrinkets.com

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    1. It's awesome to hear of so many successful marriages like yours, that came after a teenage wedding. I feel like in many cases young couples are so successful because they have such a fresh and genuine love for each other. I love how you and your husband express your gratitude for you marriage so often, so cute!

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  20. Beautiful!! I got married at 20, this year makes 3! .. people always told us we should enjoy life first then think about settling down. Seeing how sad others were in their marriage was scary, but I'm happy with my decision and would do it all over again. Married to my best friend, we travel the world together, couldn't have asked for a better soulmate! <3

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    1. I don't know about you, but I "enjoy my life" so much more now than I did while single. If anything, marriage has enhanced the enjoyment in my life, never dulled it.

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  21. So I turned 20 this past December and I'm getting married this August. My fiancé will also be 20 by then. I am not giving up my life! I'm sharing all of my experiences with summertime who means the world to me. I can't imagine a better way to take on Europe than with the person I met when I was 15 and haven't wanted to spend a day without since. We're making a Before the Babies Bucket List we're still going to have adventure. I usually shut people up this way.

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    1. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Like you said, there's no better way to experience life than with your best friend! Best of wishes to you.

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  22. I was married at 16 and told I was making a mistake well I don't think I did 25 years later 4 kids and 3 grand kids and I'd do it all again the same way. I love being married to my husband and our life is grate raised 4 grate boys.

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    1. Sounds like you knew what you were doing, and the world has 7 more people on it thanks to you and your husbands union. So great to hear your story. Thanks for the read, and comment.

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  23. I got married at 17 on March 7th 2013. We've past our one year mark and I couldn't be happier. He's the only one I could see myself being with. Thank you for writing this.

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    1. Thank YOU for your comment and appreciation of my story. And congrats on 1 year and many more to come!

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  24. Not quite a teenage wedding - but Queen Elizabeth II (then Princess Elizabeth) and Prince Philip were married when she was just 21, and they'd been exchanging goopy letters since she was 13 and he was 18.

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    1. Wow! I didn't know this! Thanks for sharing!

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  25. I was 18 when I got married (just a month-and-a-half shy of 19). I didn't personally hear any negative comments about getting married, but my mom and my sister heard them from everybody!! Of course the most common one was asking if I was pregnant (I wasn't).
    We will celebrate 15 years this summer and we have 3 beautiful daughters (ages 12, 10 and 8). It has been quite the roller coaster for us, but we've grown together because of the hardships of marrying so young. (He was 22). Having someone with me through all of the ups and downs of young life was great! He helped me get through massage school and I've supported him through his bachelor's and master's degrees! It can be done!

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    1. Where there is a will, there will always be a way! One common misconception is that if you marry young, school is over. I have found that being in school and married has made things easier because I have someone to encourage and support me through it all. Like you said, it can be done. Thank you for proving that to me and everyone who will read your comment.

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  26. I love this article you wrote. I myself married the love of my life at 18 we have been together 6 years and have been married 3 years. I remember hearing those same questions and many more as my husband was a navy man. I don't regret one minute, not even a second that I've gotten to share with the wonderful man I call my husband.
    I wish you many years of happiness.

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    1. Thank you for taking time not only to read, but also to comment on my blog. I loved reading your story and can feel your happiness when you describe your relationship. :)

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  27. This is the most beautiful, heart warming post I've ever read. This can show a lot of people that it's not ALWAYS bad to marry someone, like many people make it seem. I'm hoping to get married to my boyfriend, now father of my children. I want to give everything you gave to your husband, to my boyfriend. And not to mention, I am almost 19 as well and my boyfriend and I plan on getting married before our newborn arrives in October. Thank you for posting this. I really couldn't have said it better myself. (:

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    1. Wow. Thank you so much. Seriously, what you have written means a lot. I truly hope to covey through my blog how fun, and wonderful, and beautiful it is to have a family and be married. Knowing I have done that makes me so happy. Thank you for taking time to share your feelings with me. Best wishes on your hopes to get married soon, and on your baby!

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  28. it takes time for older people like me to realize that sometimes all young people need is to be given respect and a chance. i'm near 28, single, female and have a disability. i love single life but openly admit i want to find true love. honestly, i look up to my 21 year old best friend for that. it's odd b/c normally she looks up to me for going to school and living a ''normal'' life despite my disability. sometimes life is a struggle for both of us but her courage and smile keeps me going. honestly i was skeptical about her decision to marry so young at first, but i have always had one wish for her during the course of our friendship- to find true joy and to follow her heart on her own terms, not for others, even members of her family. her family doesn't always agree but i keep telling her they will come around eventually even though she doesn't care what people think. her baby is due oct 26, 2014 and she's planning to marry on july 19, 2014. i couldn't be more proud... as long as she is truly joyful, that's all that matters to me. that's all i have ever wanted for her. thank you for sharing your story.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my blog. Everyone is a different places and stages in life and I do believe that we are all given experiences and guidance on what we need to do and how we can influence others. It sounds like you have inspired others! It is awesome you support your friend, its nice to have support from others. I wish you the best as you continue your search for love. :)

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  29. I love this!! I was barely 20 when I got married and being LDS I didn't get many funny questions like that, but I did get some. Once in a while I will talk to someone who is shocked by how young I am. We haven't quite been married 2 years, but even still when people ask me if I regret it, but my answer is always an immediate no. I knew I was ready and I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I always like to think of what Harry says at the end of "When Harry Met Sally," "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." It was definitely true for both of us. We were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity and I enjoy sharing everything with him. :)

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  30. I just want to Thank You so much for writing this. Reading your story and everyone's comments are really helpful and I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20. I thought we were crazy until I read this about how two people can just love and one day want to spend the rest their lives together. We try so hard to hold in all the thoughts of being married or having a family one day from each other because no one wants to get hurt unexpectedly. We liked each other for 3 years and didn't know it and now that we are finally together its been nothing but realness and i feel like he's my bestfriend that i want to spend the rest of my life with. We graduate from college in a year and he wants to go to the Air Force. My only question is when it came to you being young how'd did the whole parent situation go?

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    1. I know your question was directed to the original author, but I thought I'd pitch in - my dad was furious. He refused point blank to talk to my soon-to-be-husband when he called to ask for my parents' blessing. He almost didn't come to the wedding at all. BUT.... My mom understood that it was right for us, and managed to bring him around the week before the wedding. When people (including my dad) would say to her, "they're not grown up enough to get married!?!", her response was always "They are. And they will get to do the rest of their growing up together." That helped a ton. If you are 150% sure it is the right thing to do, parents and other loved ones will figure it out eventually. Good luck! :]

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  31. People should never shame someone for being married young. That said, people who don't want to be or choose not to shouldn't be called out either. They also grow, challenge themselves, and learn to rely on no one else; which can be as equally hard as being married. Congratulations on a happy marriage! I'm glad you shared your view I just hope everyone's decisions could be respected.

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  32. I was Married just a few months after I turned 20 and my husband was a month away from turning 19. Yes I "robbed the cradle" I was told we would never make it that it wouldn't last long...we were just too young. This May we will celebrate 24 years of marriage and have never been more in love. I know what it is like to marry by best friend, my other half, my soul mate. I don't regret one minute of one day and am looking forward to 24 + more years. Thanks for sharing. Pam Hunter

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  33. Kudos to the couples who made it work, but getting married young isn't necessarily a good thing. A good friend of mine got married at 18 and was pregnant a year later. Turns out she didn't know herself or her husband as well as she thought she did. Neither of them were ready for marriage, and it fell apart within months of their son being born. She is now 23 years old, on her second marriage, with two sons that both have different fathers. Waiting to get married is okay, too. I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years and he is the love of my life. But I'm only 19, and we're not getting married until a few years after we graduate college. We both need some time to grow as individuals before we're ready to be married to each other. I'm not ready to make the sacrifices necessary in a marriage, and neither is he. We will be long distance for another three years, and after that, we'll get married. I'm in no rush - after all, if he's really the love of my life, he'll still be here in five or six years, regardless of whether there's a "miss" or a "mrs" in front of my name.

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  34. Great post! My love and I will have our 5th wedding anniversary this July. We've known each other for almost 10 years all together now. I was 18 (turned 19 a month later) and he was 20 when we eloped. It has been hard work. It's still hard. I wouldn't want a different life though. I definitely don't want to do life with any other person!

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    1. Glad to hear of your happiness :) Congratulations on almost 5 months of being married! Are you still glad you eloped instead of having a big wedding ceremony? I'm still trying to figure out what I want!

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  35. Thank you for writing this. I got married at 18, infact I got engaged while I was still writing my finals, I also was asked the same questions, but I knew what I was doing was right and I have now been married for almost 14 years, and they have been the happiest years of my life, I wouldn't change my decision for anything.

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  36. You left out a huge part of marriage (or I missed it, my apologies if I did) the enormous legal obligations of marriage. This is written purely on the emotional sides of marriage. No one ever considers the gigantic legal deal marriage is. In the eyes of the law, creditors, doctors, accountants, etc, you two are now one person to a certain extent. When there is very little legal benefit to marriage while being so young, and very many downsides (financially, not emotionally!) of getting married young, why not just wait until you are older? You aren't missing anything that you won't get by just living with them and being in a relationship with them. I suppose if it is worth the financial risk, then maybe go for it? But if I sat down at a poker table and they said I have a 50-50 chance of winning but it only pays me 10% of my bet if I win, I'd think you'd be a fool to play that table. Especially if you knew that if you come back later you have a 95% chance of winning. Remember, those 50% of divorcees thought they had the love of their life. I'm not saying you don't, anyone who dares try to lecture you on how you feel is an idiot. BUT, no matter when you get married, just remember the legal ramifications are the same. Why not wait until you are older, the return on your investment (getting married) is the same, the risk is way lower, and the opportunity cost (aka not getting married now at 19 but 30) is next to none?

    Again, this is all from the often not considered, legal point of view of marriage.

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    1. As someone who lived with my now husband for 3 years before we got married I can tell you that there is a huge difference between the two. I've loved my husband for almost 5 years now, but those first 3 years were nothing compared to these last 2. Something changes when you say I do, something deep and unexplainable happens when you commit yourself to that person completely. When there is no longer a step untaken it opens up a whole new level of intimacy between two people. Being smart about the person and time you choose to marry is essential, but holding off because of the odds is not the right reason. If I could go back knowing what I know now I would get married 2 years sooner. Your whole life will be fighting against one odd or another, dont put off anything you know you want because of societal statistics.

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    2. I appreciate your legal point of view; I think you're correct in that many young couples don't consider this important side of marriage as much as they should prior to getting married.

      That being said, I had two thoughts as I pondered your comment throughout the day that I'd like to share. Number one is that the author of this post, and I'm assuming a significant number of the commenters are LDS. For faithful Mormons, premarital sex is a big no no, so living together is out of the question. This might lead many people to accuse young LDS couples of only getting married so quickly because they're excited for sex. While I'm not going to naively say that this never happens, if these couples are firm in their faith there are going to be a lot more factors that go into that marriage decision then just excitement for sex. I I was definitely excited for that with my husband, but I'd also known what important qualities I wanted and investigated the kind of man he was in LOTS of areas before we got married to make sure it was right.

      Number two is something I realized several years ago before I was married. That statistic of 50% failed marriages used to terrify me, for the exact reason that you mentioned. I misunderstood that to mean that I must only have a 50/50 chance of a successful marriage- like that statistic would randomly determine which marriages succeed and which ones crumble. Then one day it hit me- that's not it at all! 50% of all marriages ending in divorce doesn't automatically mean that mine has a 50% chance of failure. No marriage fails because of factors outside of the couple's control. Marriage is hard work, but if each partner comes into it with 100% effort, that "50% statistic" can't just swoop in and make it fail. Marriage takes humility and compromise and selflessness and an attitude of service- all of which have become a lot less important today's society as people focus more on themselves, in my opinion.

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    3. Ttrade, you're not taking into account one important detail. The author and many of the people commenting here are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. As such, they believe in strict abstinence before marriage. LDS who desire a temple marriage do not live or sleep together before marriage. Plus, the average 50% divorce rate is not accurate in this instance. "About 5.4 percent of LDS males who married in the temple were later divorced, and about 6.5 percent of the females" https://www.lds.org/ensign/1984/07/news-of-the-church/lds-rank-high-in-marriage-low-in-divorce-study-says?lang=eng
      With just about a 6% chance of temple marriages ending in divorce, it becomes a much better deal to get married in the temple at any reasonable age, especially since sex is awesome and really difficult to wait for! Not that you should get married just because you want to have sex, that is a REALLY foolish idea and NOT promoted by anyone with any sort of authority or sanity in the LDS church.

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    4. Actually, you're missing a few big chunks of the legal information. For college students, it doens't matter if you're independent on your tax records. Your Fasfa still zaps your parents' information. The assumption is that the parents will always help with college fees. Because of this, my future husband and I were looking at 4 years of college with no federal aid coming in. This meant that we were taking out loans each semester for board and a mandatory meal plan because part-time jobs couldn't even cover that expense.
      My husband and I got married our sophomore year of college. Immediately, the financial aid we couldn't get because of our parents kicked in. Suddenly, not only was tuition paid for, but so were books and a meal plan. The money going towards one rent was cheaper per month than the cost of one dorm room, and we had two incomes to put towards it.

      Also, there are some serious tax breaks for married college students. Basically, our future is brighter and (almost) debt-free because we decided we were responsible enough to be married now.

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  37. I too was warned against getting married by everyone around me, yet being married at 19 was the best thing that could have ever happened to me! You stated it all so perfectly!! :) I am glad someone else shares the same joy as I being married young! :) God Bless!!

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  38. I absolutely love this! I just turned 20 this past December and my fiance and I are getting married May 10th, 2014. People have told us all the things in your article and my answer is always the same; we've known each other for five years and with the exception of two short break ups we've dated that whole time. I've known for a long time I'd be with him the rest of my life because he makes me a better person. I don't think age defines when you should get married, maturity does, and recognizing you love someone more than you love yourself takes maturity. Congratulations to everyone on here with happy marriages and well wishes to all those getting married in the future :)

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  39. I was married right after high school graduation-- nearly 22 years ago. Still blissfully in love, with thirteen children, I'd say the return on my "investment" has been excellent! ;-)

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  40. Marriage is a big commitment. It's a lot of responsibility-- cooking, cleaning, paying bills, raising a family, renting or buying houses and cars and possessions-- most of which is not considered by young couples before marrying. I'm glad yours is a happy story and I hope it continues to be happy. Maturity and life experience should define us, as opposed to age. Some people are okay with growing up together. I'm thankful that my young engagement crumbled because it allowed me to grow as an individual, as my own person, free from the influence and pressures that a spouse's desires bring. I've learned how to succeed by myself, to be truly independent financially, emotionally, and otherwise. But not all stories are the same, and our differences make us beautiful. Best wishes to you and yours!

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  41. I agree. I had prayed for my future husband since I was 12. We met at my Mamaw's during Sunday lunch...my cousin and he had gone to Iraq together. They had just got home and wanted some good home cooking after church, so my cousin invited him to come. God just "dropped him right into my Mamaw's kitchen" for me:) He got deployed to Afghanistan, while we were in a relationship. On his 2 week leave, we went to the mountains and got married. It was a month after I graduated highschool and a month before I turned 19. Soon after he got home for good, we found out we were expecting a baby. Now, we are 3 months away from our 2nd anniversary with a beautiful 9 month old baby girl and a baby due in October. We count them as blessings:) it has not always been a fairytale, but it has been real. I'm thankful for my husband and our young family. I believe that if you both understand the biblical view and pattern for marriage and you both agree that divorce isn't an option, that getting married young shouldn't be a problem. A helpful tip someone once gave me was " Never date someone you wouldn't consider marrying" and "Why give pieces of your heart away to different guys when you can save the whole thing for the one right one?" Both of those were helpful to me.

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    1. That helpful tip is spot on! Why does society think it is necessary to date a whole bunch of different people when believers know God will bring the right one in His time.

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  42. What you wrote here is how feel inside but never could put into words. This was beautifully said. I was married a couple weeks after I turned 19. My husband is a few years older. I had a lot of people tell me I was crazy... but I loved him and wasn't going to wait any longer to marry him. We have only been married two years, but I never regret making that choice. Thanks again for this post!

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  43. Thank you a hundred thousand times over!! I am 17 and in singles ward(yes it is allowed as long as your out of highschool) and I get a lot of similar questions/ reactions. Plus, there is a possibility of marriage while I'm a teenager. I've had people tell me to wait and just have fun and just have experiences. People say I'm too young, but they aren't me, you know? Ok, so it worked for them to get a married at 24, that's great for them!! It is so nice to see that other people are more open minded and aren't just putting everyone through a cookie cutter making us all do the same things at the"right time". Again, thank you a thousand times!!

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  44. I was 18 when i married the love of my life. There are some things I wish i could have changed but marrying him is not one of those. This August will be 2 years married and 5 years together :)

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  45. I love your blogs, and I am also a newlywed. I was married around 6 months ago at the age of 22 and where I am from, people also thought it was crazy. I had several family members tell me I was too young. Sometimes it even makes me sad or it will make me over think things and it affects my marriage. I really appreciate your thoughts and it has built me up big time. I appreciate you! Thanks!

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  46. I got married at 19 just two months after we began dating. We had seen each other, but did not know one another before we started dating. This July we will celebrate our 21st anniversary. If I had to do it over again, I would make the very same decision.

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  47. Very well said. My wife and I have been married for 40 years and we still feel the same now as you did then. "Love never fails". Congratulations

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  48. I was married 2 weeks after turning 17. I have been married for 29 1/2 years. Was it hard? YES, but rather you get married young or older, marriage is hard and probably the hardest job you will ever hold, but it is all worth the tears, the angry, and most of all the joy!

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  49. I got married at 19, going on 10 years! Happy happy happy! There is something to be said for having a one and only. Nothing that great in love happens between high-school and finding mr. right anyway just a bunch of baggage. Go through the college experience with your own family you chose, yes please!

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  50. Both of my parents were 17 when they got married & this Nov they will celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary! They will tell you that it has been tough but they stuck it out & I am so Happy to call them my parents!

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  51. I am so glad that you wrote this its good to know i'm not alone. I've always felt so lucky that people always think i'm older than I really am. They're not as shocked when I say i'm married. However I got married at 18 my husband was 24. We dated my Senior year of high school and everyone told me I was crazy except my close friends and family who knew i was capable of that kind of love and selflessness. I agree it is way harder than I ever dreamed. But Everyday I wake up happier and more in love than ever before. My husband is perfect in everyway and I know I avoided so much heart break and horrible relationships by marrying the perfect man first. There is not a day I miss the life I could have had because I know god gave me the Life that was better. So it's worth the crazy looks when I tell people i'm 19 and i've been married for a year. Because they can't handle my happiness.

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    1. Amen, sister!!! Your words echoed my thoughts exactly. Most people I meet don't think twice when I say I've been happily married for just over 3 years. And then eventually when they find out I'm only 22, they inevitably go, "Wait - what?? And you've been married HOW long??" Funny how quickly some minds turn to being judgmental with just that little extra piece of information. But I am totally going to live by your phrase now - they can't handle my happiness. :]

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  52. This is what I want more than anything!!!! I believe in the old fashioned marriages where you are married young and die together old thank you for your story gives me hope ill find that person soon enough

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  53. This was so beautiful! I am 20 will be 21 when i get married in October this year, to my high school sweetheart! We have been together for 5 years in June, and even though we have been together and and never broken up, people still question us. They say your so young you have your whole life to be married. All i can tell them is i want to be married to him for my whole life. I know he is my heart and soul! If we could have been married sooner we would have. People need to realize love does not have a age limit. Congrats on 9 years of marriage and thank you for writing your story!

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  54. I too got married when I was 19! We have now been married for 6 years. Although it hasn't always been easy...it is the best decision I have ever made! -Emily

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  55. Honestly, I don't place an age on it, personally. My grandmother and grandfather were 19 and 20 respectively and they just hit their 53 year anniversary. Love doesn't have an age limit, what matters is how you handle the things that are designed to drive a wedge between the two of you... congratulations.!

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  56. Great story! I was married at 16, yes 16! My parents had to sign consent obviously but my husband and I were ready for sure. He was 18. We just celebrated our 8 year anniversery. Remember age is just a number :) I still get people making remarks on marrying so young, you would think that after a while people would get that getting married young isn't always a bad thing

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  57. Thank you! I got to hear all of these things and more from just about everyone from when we got engaged in 2010 to when I got married at two days shy of 20 in 2013! Its hard, yes, but its so worth it. I would not trade my life as a Navy Wife for anything! I hope one day people will understand that just because people get married at 18 or 19, does not mean they are young and giving anything up; if anything I think we gain something.
    I am glad that you shared your story, it sounds like a beautiful one to say the least.. I wish you and your Ash as you said many many years of love.

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  58. My grandmother was 15 when she got married and they have been married over 50 years. My mother was 18 and they are coming up on 29 years. When I got married(at 18 also) my Dad told me, Marriage is a choice, you wake up everyday and decide I am going to love this person for the rest of my life to the best of my ability." My husband and I have stuck to that and almost 6 years and 1.5 kids later(pregnant with baby 2) we are stronger than ever. It can work but you both have to give 100%. Marriage isn't 50-50 its 100-100

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  59. I married my sweetie when I was 18. I am still surprised that after 23 years of being completely happily married people think that was kind of "crazy". I was in my second year of college and hadn't lived at home for over a year and a half. I seriously had no question if it was right. I had prayed and received a very direct answer. Never looked back. My husband and I feel that a lot of people nowdays who wait until they are "older" to marry are having a lot of troubles because they are so "set" in their ways. It's so amazingly easy to mold your lives together when you're in your "molding" years. We love the life we've built together! Just my two cents. :)

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  60. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years, he was 19 and I was 18 on our wedding day. Life has not always been easy but love is love!

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  61. My husband and I met January 2004 when I was 17. We started dating in April 2004. In August of 2004 we got engaged. And were married December 14, 2004. I got the same questions and more. People said we were moving to fast and that we would never last. My husband was 26 years old and I was 17 when we got married. My mother tried to make me break up with him after my 18th birthday in June and because I wouldn't see kicked me out of her house. It just brought my us together even more. We are going on our 10th year anniversary this year. We have 2 beautiful kids 8 and 5. We have gone through so much that should have torn us apart over the past 10 years but we have come out strong together. Despite being young and only knowing each other a year before we got married we have showed the world and ourselves that love doesn't see boundaries with age. He is my rock and I fall in love with him every day. Thank you for writing this it was so sweet and nice to hear about other people who have fallen in love and stayed married so many people give up on marriage when things start to get tough so I love to hear the success stories. Congratulations to every young couple out there who have found their soul mate at a young age. We are lucky!!!

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    1. Sorry that was suppose to say my husband was 26 years old and I was 17 when we got together. He was 27 and I was 18 when we got married

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  63. I was also married at 19. This year we will celebrate 19 yrs. I wouldnt change a minute either. Hes the love of my life and i love him more everyday. This was a wonderful article.

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  64. I was married at 18 (well, 4 days before my 19th birthday) and we're going on 14 years. It's funny because I've been to weddings of my friends who waited until they were at a "socially-appropriate age", who are now going through their divorce. Yet, my husband and I, the couple everyone said would never make it, and never held back their opinions of what a huge mistake we were making, are going strong. That's not to say I've never thought to throw in the towel, Lord knows every marriage goes through that. But I think it's just a matter of how much each person wants it. I've evolved so much since I was 18 until now at 32. But, we've evolved together. I wouldn't have it any other way. Congrats on all the other successful teenage brides out there! :) We should start a club and tell people in their 30's they're "too old" to get married. LOL

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    1. I love it! I think once you get older it's harder because you are so set in your ways and now have to compromise a lot with your spouse. I started dating my husband, who was my older brother's friend, on my 18th birthday, we got engaged 3 weeks later, and were married 3 months after that. 16 years and 6 kids later my husband is the best thing in my life. Without him I wouldn't have these beautiful children. I think the key is to continue to fall in love with your spouse. Look to the good and do not dwell on the negative. We have had our moments and it's never all happy and romantic, you work towards that. My mother was married at 17 and her mother at 16 and both never divorced. 2 of my sisters are on their 3rd marriages and another sister on her 2nd marriage. After seeing what they have gone through it has helped us be even more committed. I say power to you if you are up for being married young and will take it seriously.

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  65. What a great post. :)
    I was also 19 when I married my husband. He was 23. We had known each other for a year before we married, but had only known each other for 3 months when he proposed. He was my first 'REAL' boyfriend and everybody asked me exactly the same questions that they asked you. They thought that I was just 'settling' for the first boy that paid any attention to me. Oh, how wrong they all were. I cannot imagine anyone more perfect for me. We have been together for almost 11 years now, and we have three kids. I am not exaggerating when I say that there has NEVER been a moment when I wished I had made a different choice. I love reading stories from other happy people with happy marriages. Thanks for sharing yours. Here's mine: http://aelysium.blogspot.com/2011/08/seven-years-baby-our-story.html

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  66. I met my husband when I was 18 we didn't make it official till I was 20 but we already said our " I DO'S " We know have 3 beautiful children and have been together for 7yrs Love is something that you just know and when you do you know and don't let anyone tell you other wise I am 24 now and I wouldn't have done anything different Kudo's to u

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  67. Beautiful. My husband and I married less than three months after I turned 18. If I had been able and he hadn't been over seas I would have married him the day of my 18th birthday. It has been the best decision I have ever made and I have never doubted it for a minute. Three children, 8 years, and several war wounds later we are going strong. He is my very best friend in the entire world, my heart, and together we have forged a love and a life together.

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  68. Thank you for writing this post! I got married when I was 20 to the man I've been with since I was 16! Our 1st married anniversary will be this May! We were told all the same things. I wouldn't have it any other way!

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  69. I wholeheartedly agree with your blog. It isn't about what you are "giving up" - it's about a love that encompasses all of you and leaves you yearning for more with that one special person.
    I was married just 3 weeks after my 18th birthday and I believed in my husband and I believed in us. Unfortunately, he didn't feel quite the same and six years later - he divorced me and moved on to a number of marriages that followed. HOWEVER, I know how I felt when I accepted his proposal and the day of our wedding in front of God, family and friends. I know that I did what I truly believed in and do not question the authenticity of those feelings. Almost 16 years has passed and while I haven't found my "forever" - I know that God has his hand in it all and in His time I will again be married. You have a lifetime of growth and maturity ahead and some good and bad but as long as you both are committed to your marriage you will be together until the end.

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  70. This is perfect. :) My husband and I just got married in November, and I am still 19 as well! I got all the same questions you did, and sometimes still do. It can be hard sometimes with all the negativity, but the way you look at everything is just perfect! Thank you for sharing this, I totally agree with everything you said. I mean, why go on adventures by yourself when you can go EVERY TIME with your best friend?? :) I'm glad i'm not the only married 19 year old. Thank you again for sharing!

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  71. My husband and I have known each other since 3rd grade, started dating my freshmen year in high school a few break ups here and there but we have been together for 8 years... we got married when i was 19 he was 20... December we will be married for 4 years... we had our first child at age 20.... :) just because we are young doesnt mean a thing!! :) I love being a younger mom!

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  72. I got married 3 months before I turned 19 (translated: I was still 18). I'd attended a year of college. Was I young? Sure, but I didn't realize it at the time. All I knew was that I had found the man I wanted to marry, that we were best friends, and that we had the same goals and dreams. I feel good about it.

    Did it work out?

    37 years and counting. We're more in love than ever, despite wandering through a lifetime of huge challenges. We stick together and our friendship makes it all work.

    You go, Natasha! Be happy. :-)

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  73. I got married a couple months after I turned 20. Even though my husband and I had a child together all ready there were still so many people that were against it. His parents were not okay with it but he told me he didnt care what any one else thought...the point was that we loved each other and we knew that no matter how old we were that was never going to change. My husband is currently at boot camp to join the United States Army and I could not be more proud of him. Yes, I "gave up" a lot the day I said I do...but I gained so much more than what I "gave up". Thank you for writing this post.

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  74. Married at 20. We just passed 26 years.
    Best decision I ever made.

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  75. This was so beautifully written. I agree with it so very much! I love my husband, even when I don't ;) (Like when he eats the last of my ice cream, or when he leaves the toilet seat up and I go in there and sit down and "Splash" there I go into the toilet, and all he can do is laugh when I come out steaming mad; and that laugh, the total happiness I see on his face at that moment reminds me of every little moment I love about my life, and why I married him in the first place). We were married November 1, of 2011, this will be three years going strong. And, I was only 18 at the time, actually only 4 months after I turned 18 (with a little change) we married. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world, because the surprise dates we go on are always so much better than all of those other ones before him. And now we have a beautiful 15 month old son, who is our whole world. I wouldn't give my life up for all of the riches in the world.

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  76. Love your words! Explained perfectly!! I will be printing this and sharing! I was married at 17 and on the very day I graduated from high school and we have now been happily married for 10 years this June! Thank you for sharing your beautiful story!

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  77. I was married at 18 . Just out of high school.
    I ran off to college and got married.
    We have only been married for 5 months now
    But i wouldnt trade it for the world. Im now 19 and we are expecting our first
    Child. And still i wouldnt xhange a thing. This story brought tears to my eyez
    You explained how i felt in every way. Thank you so much for writing this.

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  78. This is so perfectly written! I got married at 19 and on June 8th last year as well!!

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  79. I married my husband at 19, and we celebrated 11 years yesterday. No regrets. It's a beautiful thing.

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  80. I just turned 18 and I had my daughter on my 18th birthday. Her father ran out on us when she was only 2 weeks old. But my boyfriend I've had since then has taken me and her in as his own. We are getting married in June. Thank you for the words of encouragement.

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  81. I got married right out of high school at age 17. My husband was 19. We were married 37 years. He died unexpectedly January 29 this year. We had such a wonderful marriage. He was my best friend and I miss him so much. We raised 3 wonderful sons and they are all married to wonderful women. I thank God for blessing me with this life. He told me many times if he died to keep on living and I am. It is hard. Make every moment, every day count. Treat each other as you would want to be treated. It worked for us. Love each other deeply. You never know when it might be your last day together.

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    1. So sorry for your loss. Love your story!

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  82. Well, I got married at 20 and still heard most of the same things, being too young.... I did have a couple of single years though. I can say it was the best decision I ever made and now after 22 1/2 years I can still say he is my best friend and soul mate. I have now been married longer than I was single! We laugh and have fun and act goofy together. We grew into actual adults together and found our way into the world, made mistakes, learned the hard way but all of it we did together. So that makes it great. I will admit there have been times that I thought maybe I did start too young or wonder if I missed anything but when I REALLY think about it, I didn't miss anything....every thing I did as a young adult that I would have done single I still (kinda) did, only I did it with my best friend. Meaningless sex/one night stands is about the only thing I "gave up?" I guess??? So yeah singles can have those. Also now that my 4 kids are older, my husband and I get to enjoy each other again by going and doing things, just the 2 of us, while we are still fairly young, in our 40's. So much more pros to this than cons, I believe!

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  83. This says it all! I met my husband when I was 19 and married when I was barely 20. I heard it all. My own father did not even attend my wedding. My uncle came from out of town to give me away. For the first year of my married life, my dad didnt even speak to my husband. Every chance my dad had he tried to bribe me to leave him, the bribes were unreal, money, new car, a house, the list goes on. I knew in my heart I made the right decision, so that made me fight even harder for this marriage. I gave it all I had and more! Six months into the marriage I found out I was pregnant with our 1st child. Things started to change after she was born. Fast forward to today, it is now 32yrs later, 5 children, 1 grandchild and Im more in love with him now than when we were first married. Dont get me wrong here, we have had our share of hard times, but we made it thru stronger than ever. He is the love of my life and there are no regrets! Thank you for this article. God Bless!

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  84. I'm sorry, but I need to interject here. You said you "gave up" your "life" and your "whole self", that sounds terrible to me. I know you found love and that's great, but it's true that age IS right out of high school, people don't even know who they are at that age. Now who are you? A wife. A mother. I guess there's nothing wrong with this if you want to leave a painfully average life. No matter what anyone says, getting married at a young age is always the safe route. You have this person who is stuck with you so you don't have to go though life alone. And yes, living on your own at that age and after is a hell of a lot harder than if you have a partner, believe me.
    Now you say you Gave Up....
    "your heart"- You do not have to get married to fall in love.
    "your privacy"- LOL roommates, siblings, live-in boyfriend...
    "your name"- Yes this is what marriage is.
    "your secrets"- Ever had a close friend before (besides your husband)? If not, that's sad.
    "your agenda"- This, my friend, is life, everyone makes sacrifices. Lots of them.
    "dating other people"- Yes, this is what marriage is.
    "awkward dinner conversations"- They're only awkward if one of you is awkward. If it's him, oh well, you probably aren't paying for the dinner anyway, but if it's you, yes maybe you are better off married before you have enough life experience to be interesting.

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    1. Giving up your whole self doesn't mean giving up who you are or becoming property. I would say it means giving up your selfish desires at the least. I don't think there is anything wrong with giving up selfish desires. Selfishness is quite an ugly attribute if you ask me.

      Being married does not make you boring or mean you have to lead a "painfully average life".
      I am 21. I have been married for 1 year. My husband is going to spend 6 months in China learning kung fu and other things to help him in his future in physical therapy. While he is in China, I will be in Taiwan teaching english and doing service. We will have weekends and some week days together.
      We are both college students who still take part in all that our school has to offer. We hang out with friends on weekends, together or separate. We go dancing and never have to wonder if we will be asked. As dance instructors, we ask and teach others how to dance as well. I will graduate next year in Animal Science. I'm going to have my own farm where I can raise and grow organic food for my family and to sell to local foodies and restaurants. While my kids are young, I will do my best to help people out of poverty by teaching those in my community how to grow and raise their own food and be self sufficient. When grandparents and my husband can take care of the kids for a while, I will travel to other countries to do the same. When my kids are old enough, they will come with me to help teach and serve others. This does not sound like a boring life to me. I will be able to experience more people, cultures, and countries than many others, single or not ever will. Obviously, my life is not "painfully average" at all! This is the dream I have had since a very young age when boys had cooties. My husband and future children are not obstacles to my dreams, they are vital components to it! What am I? A wife, future mother, sister, daughter, teacher, traveler, scholar, future college graduate, philanthropist, humanitarian, and whatever else I want to be! A husband and family do not stop you from being what you want to be. You grow with your family and support each other in their dreams and goals. We all help each other. That means sometimes we sacrifice certain experiences. But in our sacrifices, we gain other things and grow into more well rounded people. My family will sacrifice some of their experiences so they can share in mine.
      I am young, I am also interesting. My husband and I are growing more interesting every day. Our experiences are not diminished because of our marriage. In my opinion, my experiences have been enhanced! I feel like I have learned more about myself in this one year of marriage than I did in my first year of college as a single. I have learned to love service and gained a lust for travel I never had before.

      I have had close friends before, I still have them, they don't know me as well as my husband does even though they have known me far longer. There is something different and special about the relationship with your husband. It is far greater than the relationship with a close friend or even siblings or parents. Until you have it, you cannot know how.

      I could write a book in response to your comment, I'm afraid I already have, but I will wrap it up by saying this: Marriage is what you make it. To say all married people are boring or "painfully average" is absolutely ridiculous and utterly foolish. And finally, average is not painful. One person's average is another person's dream.

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  85. This is beautiful. I got married at 18 to my best friend. There were so many people who "knew" it wouldn't last. I am happy to say we have been married 21 years and have 5 wonderful children. We are closer now than ever. It wasn't always wine and roses. We kind of had to grow up together. But we knew from the get go that forever was our only option. And our good times outweigh the tough ones 100-1. We still laugh and love everyday.

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  86. I married my husband when I was only 16. We will celebrate our 8 year anniversary this May. It is definitely hard but I love him. And when I am having a bad day he will make me laugh and forget what I was even complaining about. We have been through our share of experience (military, living states away from home, becoming a veteran's wife, kids, college and more). I wouldn't take it back because we have come so far together and I don't know if I would be the same person if it wasn't for him.

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  87. I got married at 19 years too!
    Would NEVER trade that for anything in this world! I love my husband and I know God ordained our marriage! :)

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  88. Great story that needed to be written. I have been with my husband since I was 16. Got married at 20 and we have been together for a total of 12 years now. It's the best decision I have ever made by far!!

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  89. Thanks so much for posting this. I will be getting married at 18, and I've had a lot of those same questions, especially considering he's in the army. We love each other so much though, and I can't wait to start my life with him. I really needed this encouragement. Thanks!

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  90. Wow I thought I was readin my life story. That is exactly what I heard. I dated guys in the past but never went on a date until I was 16 and it was with my boyfriend that I had already been dating for a year. at 15 I knew then that he was the man I wanted to marry, its 5 years later now and we are engaged and saving money to get married. We enjoy every minute together and wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world and even though ive been with him for 5 years I still have ppl telling me that we will both change and that we might not love each other in the future and I just laugh at them and say you don't know us. because they don't. not everyones life is the same and people fail to realize that.

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  91. I got married at 17 and when you find true love you just know it. May 31, 2014 we will celebrate our 24th anniversary. I wouldn't change getting married young even if I could!

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  92. Nice !! I was 14 When I married my best friend and we recieved all of these and that we were to. Young our marriage would never make it .on March 31st we will celabrate 35 years and going strong.congratulations to you, keep believing and keep loving oneanother♥♥♥

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  93. Very beautifully expressed! Thank you! My wife was 16 and I was 21 when we married. We didn't "have to" we wanted to. On the 4th of March we celebrated 36yrs of marital bliss. I can't imagine life without her. Again, thank you, it blesses me to see young people with the same commitment! God Bless...

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  94. Thank you so much for writing this!! I was married at twenty (engaged a month after my 20th birthday). Not because I was pregnant, not because I just wanted to be married, but because I truly loved and still to this day love my husband with all my heart. He's my soulmate (I never believed in soulmates before I met him). He makes my laugh, he holds me when I cry, and he does everything in his power to make me happy. I try to do the same for him and I truly appreciate everything he does. We've been married three and a half years now. We have had our problems, like all couples, but it wasn't because I was 20 when we got married. Thank you for writing this article and speaking for everyone who got married young. Not because we had to, but because we wanted to with all our hearts <3 <3

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  95. Thanks for this post! I'm getting married just a few days before I turn 21 to my high school sweetheart and I've had mixed responses from other people. Some support our choices, others think that we need to wait a little while longer. After five years of dating we are ready for this. We've been committed to each other since day one and our love and companionship grows stronger every day!

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  96. I was 19 when we met. He proposed on my 20th birthday. WE got married 6 months later. He is 8 yrs older than me. We will celebrate our 14th anniversary this year. We have 4 awesome kids and no regrets

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  97. I was 19 too and it's been 33 years. Best decision I ever made. Thanks for putting into words, how I feel.

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  98. A friend shared this on my Facebook wall. It made me smile to relate to another girl. I married my husband at 19 (I'm 20 now) and I have never been so sure it was the right decision. I believe God grants us the ability to look in to a person and see them as who he created them to be and that's how we know the decision is the right one. Thank you for sharing your story. You're not alone and even though we hear these 'pieces of advice' by people in our every day lives its coming from a place of ignorance. Only a select few get the gift of finding their love early, let's cherish it and bask in the rarity of it! :) Much love <3

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  99. I love this! Perfectly written. I am 19, and we were married 3 months ago. And it's not true that marriage interferes with college - I'm going into law school this year and my husband is starting his Master's degree. We feel blessed by young marriage! God bless you both.

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  100. I loved this! I have been with my husband 32 years - since I was 18 and we have raised two beautiful daughters. He is my best friend, my soul mate and the love of my life and I would not change a thing.
    We heard all the "advice" as well - consider yourself lucky, like we do, that you found each other early in life and you have that much more time to love each other that much more.

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  101. We married the day after my 18th birthday in the chapel of his church, just me, him and the preacher. He was almost 21. This August we will celebrate our 32nd anniversary. And that grocery store cashier in our little town was really shocked when we had our first child 8 years later. :)

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  102. I love it! This is the first blog post in a long time that I felt so connected to. My husband's name is Ashton as well. And we got married at a young age and, of course, heard all those same comments and felt like we had very little support for our decision. I love my husband without doubt and I would do it all over again and again. I've never been so connected to anyone person and truly felt that completeness as when he and I are together. Marriage is a beautiful thing. I only wish I had known him sooner so I could love him longer. Best of wishes to you and your Ashton! :)

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  103. I graduated highschool in June(province of Ontario in Canada had 5 years of highschool at the time) ...married my husband in August(three weeks shy of my 19th birthday) ...got pregnant on our honeymoon...16 years later and 5 kids we love our life - the Lord is good! I really enjoyed your post!

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  104. I absoulutely loved reading this!! A lot of people now days does not really know what it means to be in love and to work together to make a marriage work!!! I was married 3 days after I turned 18 because my Dad would not sign for me, and heard just about every statement you listed above. But I knew I loved him with all my heart, and have now been married 21yrs!! I look back through the years and am amazed at how our love grew for each other with each passing year. So many times my Husband and I have been talking " Do you remember this or do you remember when we did this" And then he would always say " And I thought I loved you then" it's amazing how you grow together, experiance things that make you stronger and you fall so much more in love!! So I guess you can Imagine when Brad Paisley came out with the song "I thought I loved you then" That became our new song. I wish you many more years of happiness!!!

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  105. I graduated high school and 22 days later got married to my best friend. We were both 18, yes we were young and didn't have much, but we so enjoy each others company....almost 26 years later, I'd do it all again...

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  106. I too was married at 19 and wouldn't change a thing! Best decision of my life. My husband and I will celebrate our third anniversary this May and although we've faced trials, we've faced them TOGETHER, and I'm happier than I ever thought imaginable.

    I blog a lot about marriage and life as a young wife at www.jaimieramsey.com--I'd love for you to stop by!! :)

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  107. I found this post from it being shared on fb. This is beautiful! I am not married, and 24, but all of these thoughts have scared me from getting married. I've been "settled" with my fiance for nearly 5 years. Thank you for sharing the beautiful side of marriage. I truly appreciate your words and courage to share your story. I look forward to exploring your blog!

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  108. I married my husband when I was still 18. We have been married going on 30 years in August. We went 10 years without children, although we wanted them, they just never did come. After 10 years we adopted a son and then 7 years later we adopted 3 more children. God knew where and when our children would be born, I just had to learn to trust Him in everything. It has been a blessed 30 years. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

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  109. Wonderful post! Thanks so much for sharing. I got married at 19 (my husband was 22) and I've never regretted it once (him either!). We've been married for 33 years, have 3 children, and one grandson. Best life ever. :)

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  110. I got engaged at 18 and am getting married in 74 days (I'm 19 now). I've heard it all....

    And you just spoke my heart! Thank you!

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  111. Thank you Natasha; I enjoyed reading your post. It was inspiring and I appreciate that--keep writing. You are sending uplifting messages.

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  113. My husband and I started dating when I was 17 and married 2 years later. We just celebrated our 4th anniversary, and are close to being together a total of 7 years. Your words brought tears to my eyes. Truly beautiful! It is one of the hardest things in life to share so much of yourself, but the most rewarding. Two kids later we are as strong as ever. Yes we have struggles daily, but I couldn't find a better person to spend the rest of my life with. Thank you for posting your story. I am inspired by your optimism and like knowing that there are other couples like us out there doing great. Congratulations

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  114. My husband and I started dating when we were 19. 10 months later we were then 20 we got engaged. I think it was 3 months after that we found out we were pregnant. Than 2 months after that we got married. My husband turned 21 the a few months later a week before my 21st birthday I had our beautiful baby girl. Everyone thinks we were crazy and rushed to fast into everything. I know I made the best choices of my life. I think it is so weird how some people look at having a husband and family as a burden. it isn't that way for me at all. I am blessed. I am so glad I found my better half so soon. I am going to have more time than most with him. I didn't have to wait to find him I found him fast. Getting married was the best thing I have ever don't except for our daughter. GOD IS SO GOOD!

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  115. beautiful and perfect. i got all that too. i was 17 when i married my guy. first met him at 15, then met again at 16 and started dating at 16 1/2. got married 3 months before my 18th bday. i graduated as a junior in highschool and got married 11 days after graduation. my dad had to sign for me to even get married. my son was born 15 months later and is now 8 1/2. this may will be 10 years!

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  116. I was married at 19 and with my hubby since 15. I got all of these so many times. We are still happily married with two teenage daughters and would not change a thing!

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  118. Love this! My husband proposed right after my 18th birthday and we were married 6 months later (I was still 18). I didn't date anyone else and I just knew that he was "the one!" Seven years later, he is still the one and I would do it all over again! When you know, you know! No need to go on dating or live up the single life! I absolutely LOVE being married and I get to spend every day with the most amazing guy ever! ;)

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  119. Met in high school. Married at 18. Nope, wasn't pregnant. We will be celebrating 34 years in November. It's not always been easy and smooth going. But what marriage is, no matter what age? The good out weighs the bad by a long shot.

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  120. If he makes you happy that's all that matters. I've been with my husband since I was 18 a few months after graduating actually. It'll be 8 years together this year and although he droves me nuts and vise versa I wouldn't give him up for the world. He works so hard so I can stay home with our 2 handsome boys. He's so good to us. Just keep in mind that your marriage is worth fighting for. Don't take it for granted. And one tjong to tell those other people " I didn't give up anything, I chose to share my everything" you got this girl

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  121. I love this post! My husband and I met the 1st day of college and I knew about a month in that we would get married one day! We got married almost a year to the day of meeting. We were pregnant, but that isn't the reason we got married. We got married because we want to spend our lives together. Of course we got all of the negative comments, but we believe firmly in putting God first in our marriage and never giving up on one another! We have been married a little over a year and a half, and have a beautiful 1 year old son! This is the life I always wanted, and I choose each day to "give it all up" because it's exactly what I want! I hope you see only encouragement from this post!
    Here is my blog with my story:
    http://imperfectionisbeautytoraj.blogspot.com/

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  122. LOVE IT! I was married 4 days after my 20th birthday to the man I only dated for 9 months..that was 24 years ago! Enjoy the journey!

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  123. I love this. I'm not married (yet) but I have been with my boyfriend since I was 17 (I'm 23) and I am frequently asked if I regret not being single in my early 20s or whether I feel like I have settled.. I feel like anyone who doesn't understand has probably never met the right person. Your post is fantastic!

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  124. So true! my wife and I got married the weekend after her graduation! We have been married 5 years, together.for 8.and have a beautiful home and we have two beautiful boys and a girl on the way. They said wait. I say jump start! My kids will be grown and gone before 50!!! Young enough to still fulfill our dreams!

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  125. I'll be marrying my amazing boyfriend at the age of 21 and he'll be 24. I knew from day one he was the one for me, and I'll gladly go anywhere with him. He's Air Force and I'm an EMT. Both of us have our lives together. And we can't wait to combine them.

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  126. People used to get married even younger than you. Younger than 18 even. Still do in many parts of the world. Your story is not special, sorry, and sounds no different than any married straight couple.

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  127. Natasha, Congrats! Being married is an awesome adventure. I too married young, right out of high school, two weeks before I turned 19! 10 months later our first son was born, and the children God blessed us with came pretty regularly after that - every 2 years. We have 7 children now, our youngest is on a mission. We have been married for 33 years in September, and are grandparents to 7 grandchildren. We too did a stint in the Navy and travelled. We have gone through school when we first started out, then back again while Brad got his MBA. We've started a business or two together and wondered if we would ever get to eat a whole candy bar ourselves because we could only afford one for 4 people, or one ice cream cone to share, or my favorite - "I don't like milk" when I was carrying our first child so that I could have the milk. (I saw him drinking glass after glass at his parents home and appreciated his sacrifice on my behalf). He supported me teaching our children at home for over 10 years when I was fed up with the schools, and proudly stood at each wedding we've had so far, and rocked those sweet grandbabies to sleep while I watch him. it IS POSSIBLE to love young, and to have that love grow and strengthen. It IS POSSIBLE to make Covenants at marriage and keep them. Even when times get tough. It IS POSSIBLE to forgive and do better next time, and love each other anyway even though they (or you!) are not perfect. I have enjoyed my journey so far. I am enjoying growing old with my childhood sweetheart. I look at him, and he has wrinkles and his hair is starting to grow gray, and he isn't as skinny as he was when we started this adventure, but I look in his eyes and he is still the man I fell in love with so many years ago. He still takes my breath away. He is still the man of my dreams, the father of my children, and the love of my life. IT IS POSSIBLE. May you have as many years of happiness that I have found. don't listen to the world. Listen to God and your heart. I know you know what I'm talking about. :) and may you get to grow old with your sweetheart and have many wonderful adventures together!

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  128. Wow...i'm truely blessed by everyone amazing encouraging posts. I'm not married but have a few friends of mine who got married straight out of high school between the ages 18-20. I must admit i never understood it and found myself being the one to ask the questions like aren't you too young? shouldn't you wait a lil more? do you even know what love is? etc... Not realizing that they were at the point of surety...there was no doubt from their side but that it was with me... i had to/ maybe even still need to get to that place, which is why i haven't been able to settle down with anyone. I've realized that i have in this time been selfish, i'm not willing yet to make the sacrifices needed for marriage and that i did wrong towards my friends when i warned them against marriage out of my own fears camouflaging it as tho they were their fears. So Thank you Ladies for sharing your stories and helping me realize the true fact. A real big thank you to you Natasha Craig for sharing your beautiful story with us all May God continue to bless your marriage.

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  129. Thank you for the wonderful post. I was 20 when I got married we dated for a year to the date when we got engaged and married just 30 days later. We had people tell us it wouldn't last or we rushed into things but it was the best decision we ever made. We will be married 7 years this December. I wouldn't change a thing only to have found him sooner and married sooner.

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  130. Natasha, I loved your blog post. I have two girls, one 17 and one 19. Both of them are looking forward to marriage, even at this young age. I pray God grants them a wonderful husband to share their lives with. My son married at age 19, and he is the happiest I have ever seen him. His beautiful bride was 19, as well, and I am so glad they did not wait until my age, 32, before they married. They have so many more beautiful years ahead of them.

    Natasha, you have a wonderful way with words. You paint beautiful pictures with your writing. I hope to read more of your posts in the future.

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  131. I got married at 18. I had been out of high school for 6 months. We starting right before I finished, were enaged 3 months later, and married another 3 months later. We also got pregnant a month after we were married. It wasn't planned, but if I had to do it over again I would plan it that way. I got a lot of critizism when I got married and when we got pregnant. Even now family sometimes will off handly say something about using pertection, it's annoying. Because we love our son and can't imagine life without him!

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  132. Thank you so much for writing this! My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We got married when I was 18 and he was 19. We have now been married 14 years and have two beautiful children. (8 & 4) I couldn't imagine my life without this wonderful man.

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  133. I adore this I was 18 my husband was 19 I was 7 months pregnant with our baby boy. We had been together 2 years and I had never been so happily in love with anyone before him l. We've been married for a little over a year now about to celebrate our son's first birthday. Yes we fight and argue but we love one another. Every couple has issues but the key is working them out together as a unit. I can never see myself with anyone other than my hubby. I am very glad I met him earlier than later gives move more time to love him and our beautiful son. ♡

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  134. Thank you for the words to remind me how precious the last 16 years have been to me. I have been with my husband for 16 years next week, and our anniversary of 15 years. We was married on my 18th birthday and we have grown up together. People ask what about the being single college experience? Yes I did give up the college
    single life, but not college as im soon graduate with a doctorate. He is my best friend, since our lives was joined early everything major in our lives we have been through together, we have leaned on each other and cried and laughed with each other. We havent had the emptiness of not having support or being held when it was needed. So yes I was married as a teenager and am now in my thirties, it was and still is the greatest decision I have ever made!

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  135. I met my husband at 17 and married him at 18. When I was 23 we had a son, and at 26 a daughter. We've been married for 36 1/2 years and now have two wonderful grandchildren and a son- and daughter-in-law! Every day was not perfect, but every day we chose each other. I hope to have at least 36 1/2 more years with him. Love is about who you are and who you choose to be, with the person you choose to be with.

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  136. Great article. I too was a teen bride. I met God's man for me just 6 months after I graduated high school and we were married in December. Now, almost 18 years later, still with the same wonderful Godly man, I would have to agree with your article. I never missed anything. There is a plus though, I had my children early in life, my oldest I had when I was 20 and my second son I had when I was 22. I get so many compliments about my age like, "You can't have a 16 year old, your too young. Love it, makes my head swell just a bit. Can't wait till I get grand kids, wow will that REALLY BLOW PEOPLES MINDS. Don't let anyone make you feel like you have lost anything.

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  137. I just wanted to say, I got married when I was 18 2 weeks later turned 19. On Tuesday the 25th of this month March, we will be married 25 years! We have 10 children and 5 are grown, I have 2 grandchildren and I'm soo happy. I can't say it was a life of ease or still is, but I love who I am and who I have shared these past 25 years with. I wouldn't trade one thing about that decision even though I made it when I was soo young. I know for me it WAS the right one and I will never judge someone else on their choice. I hope you have a wonderful life together and you get to learn and grow with one another. It truly is a wonderful feeling to know that I have the energy and patience for my other children at home but also for my grandchildren. I also LOOK really young!! No one believes my age. I think it's the perks of being happily married. Good Luck with your marriage and know many are routing for your success.

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  138. I was married at (YIKES) 18!! And yes I was pregnant, but it is 14 years and 3 beautiful little boys later and I wouldn't change a thing <3

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  139. Awesome! I was married at 19 as well and in June will celebrate 24 years of marriage. Like so many of you, I got all "those" questions. I can't tell you it's been easy. We have two children one of which just got married at 21 and we have had bumps and lumps all along the way, but it is in those times that you learn so much about each other and realize that he is your best friend. Marriage must be a daily dying to self on both parts while opening your heart to your spouse and letting the Lord guide you. Although there are some days I could pinch him (LOL), I couldn't imagine taking this journey in life without him.

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  140. I also married young. I was 16, he was 20. Not pregnant. We had to have a Judge's permission as well as my parent's. Being a wife and mother was all that I ever wanted. We had "gone together" for 2 years before we married (I was 14). When I say "gone together", I mean we sat in church together, he came to my house, I went to his, we might have went places with our youth group, etc. He died just 6 months shy of our 30th anniversary (in 2008), to say I miss him every nanosecond of every day is an understatement. He was my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my rebuker, my encourager, my partner, my pastor. The Lord Jesus Christ truly blessed us with a wonderful life together, and I would never go back and do anything different because all of it has been the Lord's will and He has made me and is making me into what He wants me to be by the trials and triumphs in my life. I praise Him for the life He has given me both here on this earth and eternally in Heaven.

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    1. This is under my husband's name still....

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  141. Loved this! I was married at 20-- if I had met him sooner I would have married sooner. We will celebrate 8 years in July and have 2 wonderful children. I have friends from school that aren't even married yet-- I look at kids with little babies and think, I am so glad we are past that! I don't have the energy for diapers anymore lol My kids are 6 and 4.

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  142. Thank you so much for sharing this. I wish that I would have written down my thoughts and feelings when I too got married at a young age. I was 17 years old, one month into my senior year. We had a 5 month old son and had planned to get married soon after we found out we were pregnant. My dad, in his infinite wisdom, said, "no, you need to wait and get married because you want to not because you think you have to." I am so glad that we followed his counsel. We have now been married for eternity for 18 1/2 years and have 19, 17, 14, and 12 year old children. Our life together began in some of the most difficult of situations with people telling us that we were making a mistake and we would be divorced in a year. It has been a difficult and rewarding journey, one that I wouldn't change for anything. We have traveled the world together with our children and are now getting ready to send them out to begin their own journeys.

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  143. This is sweet, I love it. I met my husband at 14, a freshman in highschool, and married him at 17, a month after graduation. We caught so much flack, but those who supported us then are still in our lives today. We'll be celebrating our 4th anniversary soon and I fall more in love every day!

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  144. I married at the age of 17, 41 days before my 18 th birthday. No I was not pregnant either. He was in the Navy and going to be going to Puerto Rico for 3 years and I was going to. Well, like the Navy plans changed and he went on an Aircraft Carrier. I did get pregnant before my 18th birthday and now have a son 45 and daughter 42. Yes, we have been married 46 years. I gave up a lot and sometimes I wonder what I missed out on. My parents was against it and we had to elope. Things were a lot harder when I got married. There was no microwave and you cooked your meals in a stove. It was hard making ends meet. Praise God it is not today. But I will tell all of you it takes both of you working, because it doesn't get easier, you see people with other things and wonder. As a woman Pastor I try not to covet anything anyone else has. Good luck to you all and may God keep on blessing you.

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  145. I met my husband online in january , graduated high school in may , was engaged in August I was 18, and was married november 17th 2007 at 19 my birthday is halloween so i was just shy of turning 19! It was the best decision i ever made but i have a mature mind some people that get married young don't understand sometimes and by the age of 25 they are divorced. But here I am 7 years later married to my best friend and I love him with all my life!

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  146. Great post! i was married at 21. i guess depends on the person that age is young or not, but I've found that marriage is about love and work. it's not an age thing!! nobody really brings to light the 30 or 40 year old that get married, then divorced, for no good reason, in 3 years. what, where they too young too? love, work and stubbornness to stay together. i love that you say "give up" in quotations. cause you are right, you didn't give up anything! you create a life for yourself! living life alone is boring. Thank you for writing this, my sister got married at 19 and had a baby soon after and always refers to herself as, "well, i was too young." i don't know if she is saying she half regrets what happened or if she is just scared. probably more the later, but, she is the one who sent me this post! i can only assume is helped her emotionally in some way and was exactly what she needed to hear at the moment! Thanks!

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  147. This is literally the best thing I've ever read! I hate that so many people are so judgmental of young couples who want to marry, but in my opinion when its right you just know, no matter how young you are! When you've found the person that you truly want to be with for the rest of your life you can just feel it in every inch of your body and no one should be able to tell someone that they're "crazy" for getting married so young. Love your post!

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  149. Couldn't agree more with everything you have said. Thank you for posting!! I was married to my husband at 17. He was my first boyfriend and he had never really "dated" anyone else though he had a few interests, and we were both each others first kiss. I got pregnant with our first one month after our wedding and we now have an amazing 4 month old! Surprisingly we didn't get too much negative criticism about getting married. (Plenty about having our first so soon though!) We had both sets of parents 100% behind us which was such a blessing from God. (We always joke that it was really an arranged marriage lol) We are both full time missionaries, and both our parents live on the same street! (perhaps you can imagine some of the drama that can create.) We have been through so much together, I've really learned getting married young eliminates so much of the "set in" character qualities some older couples have to deal with. the "un-learning" bad habits process, because so much of your person is only starting to develop. But I agree 100% with the statement I would do it all over again in a heart beat!

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