Saturday, July 6, 2013
    I have officially dubbed myself as the terminator. I know it is quite a title, but I have terminated enough freaky, nasty, crawly, things to justify giving myself the name.

    Let me start by saying that I am the designated moving....eight legged....creature killer in our home. This is due to the fact that Ash has an acute case of arachnophobia. I think it is safe to say that I might never see a worse case of arachnophobia. I don't blame him though, I would be probably be in the same boat as him if I did not grow up in a house where I killed spiders on a daily basis. Any arachnophobia I  coulda/shoulda/woulda developed was sucked out of me at an early age.

    I can now say that growing up surrounded in spiders and with brothers who loved to stick bugs down my shirt, was a blessing in disguise. Because now I not only make the hubbies life easier by making food, doing laundry and doing dishes; but I also can be called upon to kill the creatures! Just another reason he loves me. Yay for me :)

    Anyway I have been keeping track of my recent terminations... Mostly so I had something to blog about... and because in my heart of hearts, sharing my ability to kill creatures that make most people scream gives me a feeling of satisfaction.

(Oh and FYI... Ash is the manliest of all men, and anyone who gives him crap for being scared of spiders after reading this post can come over and I'll stick a spider down your shirt and see how well you handle it. Okay that's all... read on).

    Death Toll Count This Week:
     *notice: creature names courtesy of Natasha Craig who would rather make up something than do extensive research to find the correct name. Don't be hatin.        

The Red Chested Grey Butted Night Crawler:

Deaths: 5
Escapes: 0
Bites: 0

Status: As of July 5, 2013... TERMINATED

Freaky Long Legged Brown Thing:

Deaths: 2
Escapes: 2
Bites: Suspected

Status: As of July 5, 2013... CURRENTLY BEING HUNTED

The Laundry Creeper:

Deaths: 3
Escapes: 0
Bites: 0

Status: As of July 5, 2013... EXTINCT (until next load of laundry)

The One That Moves To Fast and Freaks Me Out: 

Deaths: 6.5 (most recent kill wouldn't die and was thrown away while its legs still were twitching)
Escapes: 0... with 2 Close Calls
Bites: 0... thank heavens


My Worse Nightmare:

Deaths: 2
Escapes: 0.. never on my watch will that happen.
Bites: 0

Status: EXTINCT ON A FAITH BASIS.. I pray every night that I am never graced with the presence of another one.

And there you go... Writing this has given me those tickles you get all over your body where it feels like you have bugs on you... so I must now go take a shower and hope that the towel I wrap around my body is creature free.


  1. Girl I feel for you! We've had ALL of the above and more in our house including MANY black widows (and their nasty babies). If you ever see a really huge looking bumpy spider DON'T SMASH IT! It probably has babies on it's back and if you try to smash it the babies will go EVERYWHERE. Instead, trap it with a bowl or cup and get out your vacuum hose.

    And check your toilet paper rolls. My husband got bit by a spider hiding out in a toilet paper roll.

    And as for those maggot things... vinegar will kill them. Some neighborhood cat left a dead bird on my porch and I didn't realize it for a few days. By the time I cleaned it up there were hundreds of maggots everywhere. Needless to say, I sprayed those things with tons of vinegar.

    1. It is so wonderful to know that I am not alone in the bug infestation world! Funny you mentioned the bumpy spiders. My younger brother just had the experience of killing a bumpy spider and NOT knowing that it would lead to babies scattering everywhere! To bad I didn't have your advice BEFORE that happened to him. But, at least I now know how to protect myself!

      We have had spiders showing up in our shower and toilet bowl lately! Yikes. So far none in the toilet paper rolls, but we will keep our eyes out!

      Thanks for all the great advice. Seriously. I especially like the heads up on how to kill the maggot things! They are my least favorite!

      Good luck with your future spider/bug encounters!

  2. My house is 67 years old... AKA the creepy crawly bug retirement homes.