Death By Potato Peelers

Friday, June 7, 2013
I have to start off by saying that last night, I had possibly the scariest dream of my life.

All those stalker dreams, husband not liking me dreams, war dreams, end of world dreams... Yeah this tops it. 

Okay I'm kidding. I've had worse dreams. But this one was pretty bad... 

When you are going to have a baby, many magical somethings suddenly start happening to your body. Morning sickness, no appetite one second, huge appetite the next. Every leisure moment of my life, I had to spend going the bathroom because the waters never stop flowing (I even made a game... How many times can Natasha go 10 minutes without peeing? .... I never win). 
Fun happy mornings with a delicious breakfast, leads to the sudden erge to hang out a bit with the porcelain friend down the hall. Oh and tears, we can't forget tears, I cry all the time.

At everything. 

My husband buys me ice cream... I cry.
My husband doesn't buy me ice cream... I cry. 
I watch a movie... I cry. 
I don't watch a movie... I cry.
I can't get the stain off the plate I'm scrubbing... I cry. 
I finally get the stain off the plate... I cry. 

It's awesome guys. 

But, you want to know something that effects me the most?? 

Dreams. 

I have like 80 every night I swear! And they are always the worse! Like the other night when I stayed up watching Dancing With The Stars only to have the dream that all the contestants climbed into an elevator, turned on laughing gas, got high, got too high, then died. 

How did I come up with that one? 

I told you they are the worse. 

Well... Last night was no exception. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. I had a dream that I woke up in the morning with long, thick, pokey, black, hairs growing out of the top of my nose. Every pour in my nose had one of these nasty hairs growing out of it. As soon as I went to the bathroom and saw the hairs, I flipped out. But come on, you can't blame me! Anyone would! So obviously, my first thought was that I needed to find a razor. This is where is gets awful. ALL my razors had DISAPPEARED. Completely. So what did my prego mind decide to do? Grab a POTATO PEELER. What. In. The. World. And to make it worse, in my dream I actually used this potato peeler to shave my nose. IT HURT SO BAD! I spent the whole morning (in my dream) shaving my nose with a potato peeler, only to watch the nasty hairs grow back over and over again... I was literally peeling my nose off out of frustration when I finally woke up.

The only thing I can really tell you girls (and guys I guess), is if you start growing nasty hairs out of the top of your nose... DO NOT USE A POTATO PEELER. Save yourself the pain, and suck it up enough to go to the store and buy yourself a razor. IT WILL BE WORTH IT. Besides, chances are, despite people looking at you, and the embarrassment, you will probably never have to see those people again, and you will not have a flayed nose.



1 comment:

  1. Gross...Praying for better dreams for you! You really can ask for such a thing and it will work if you are sincere.

    ReplyDelete