Confessions of a Teenage Bride

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Lessons I Have Learned From Life


1. Just because something seems right, doesn't necessarily mean it is.

2. Real love is not always about hearts and kisses... It's much, much more.

3. Sometimes people you love hurt you.

4. When you want something bad enough you will get it, but, it's not always going to be what you really wanted.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

FYI


I rather have a picnic in a mountain than a million dollar diamond ring any day.

I have a talon clisp. 

My ears are different from each other.

I honestly don't like chocolate. 

Friday, October 16, 2015

How Porn Convinced Me Sexual Assault Was My Fault


I am sharing this in hopes that it helps someone. There are many ways pornography has affected my life, this is just one of the ways. I like to focus on all my blessings (of which I have many); however, every now and then there is something I feel very strongly about that may not be as pleasant or comfortable to talk about. However, often those unpleasant things are the very things that need to be talked about most. This is one of those things. Way too many people tiptoe around the subject of pornography, and that fear of speaking out is enhancing the amount of porn-caused pain in the world drastically. We need to stop being afraid to talk. By sharing this story, I am very publicly saying that I am not afraid to open my mouth and declare that porn is evil, porn is dangerous, and porn kills love.   

The first time I really saw porn was when I was 17. 

I say "really" because it was the first time I saw it on purpose. 

In a desperate attempt to understand something that was done to me, I found porn. I never in a million years thought I would watch a porn video, but at the time it seemed like the only thing I could do.

His words, "You are supposed to like this" ran through my head over and over again as I typed. I didn't like it, I said it hurt, I said I wanted him to stop, and he said I was 'supposed' to like it?

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

5 Ways My C-section Made Me A Good Mother

   
    I have sat starring at this page for a while now, trying to think of how I should say what I am feeling. In a couple of weeks it will be two full years since the birth of my sweet baby girl Harper. TWO YEARS and I am just realizing now that I never wrote down the story of her birth. I could say this is because I have been so busy raising her, but that wouldn't be completely true. The real reason I have never wrote it is because my story was a lot different than the stories I saw all the other ladies posting.

    I didn't labor for 24+ long hours, I didn't time my contractions, and my husband didn't cut the chord. I do not have pictures of myself holding my baby post labor all teary-eyed and sweaty. I actually didn't sweat at all, not a single drop. There was nothing traditional about my experience. My baby was born as I lay completely immobile on a hard table, in an ice cold room, surrounded by people in masks holding knives. Harpers birth lasted a total of 25 minutes. 25 minutes was all it took to cut me open, take her out and close me up. There was no yoga balls for me, no chewing ice, no long awaited epidural. 

    What did I have in common with all these new mommies I saw posting pictures of themselves beaming with joy after suffering for days to bring their children into this world? 

    Absolutely nothing. 

    How could I say, "I would do it (labor) all over again" when all I really did was lay down for 25 effortless minutes? 

    I couldn't.