A Little Story on Hugs, Kisses, and Bathroom Trips

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Harper is one of the most affectionate little girls I have ever met. I love the way she runs and gives me hugs at random moments throughout the day. I love hearing her say, "I love you mama!" Just because. She loves to snuggle and give kisses and it is seriously the greatest thing. 

That being said, Harper's affection is given to things most of us might never consider giving affection too. She believes that all pill bugs (dead or alive, correctly connected bodies, or torn apart) are her best friends. She lovingly holds them and pets them as she tells me how much she loves them and how much they love her... and me. She also does this with leaves, rocks, candy wrappers, pizza crust, and pretty much anything else she finds. She truly does love all things unconditionally. She really does have the most pure, innocent and perfect heart of gold. 

Every time she brings me a new "find" I chuckle inside at her cute innocent heart and her ability to make friends with the most unexpected things. She makes me want to find more joy in the little things. She makes me want to be a better friend. 

Then there was today. 

 Today I think she took it a little too far.

Polar Express

Thursday, December 24, 2015
 Today we went on the polar express!
 It was the first time Harper had ever been on a train, and she loved it.

Lessons I Have Learned From Life

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

1. Just because something seems right, doesn't necessarily mean it is.

2. Real love is not always about hearts and kisses... It's much, much more.

3. Sometimes people you love hurt you.

4. When you want something bad enough you will get it, but, it's not always going to be what you really wanted.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

I rather have a picnic in a mountain than a million dollar diamond ring any day.

I have a talon clisp. 

My ears are different from each other.

I honestly don't like chocolate. 

How Porn Convinced Me Sexual Assault Was My Fault

Friday, October 16, 2015

I am sharing this in hopes that it helps someone. There are many ways pornography has affected my life, this is just one of the ways. I like to focus on all my blessings (of which I have many); however, every now and then there is something I feel very strongly about that may not be as pleasant or comfortable to talk about. However, often those unpleasant things are the very things that need to be talked about most. This is one of those things. Way too many people tiptoe around the subject of pornography, and that fear of speaking out is enhancing the amount of porn-caused pain in the world drastically. We need to stop being afraid to talk. By sharing this story, I am very publicly saying that I am not afraid to open my mouth and declare that porn is evil, porn is dangerous, and porn kills love.   

The first time I really saw porn was when I was 17. 

I say "really" because it was the first time I saw it on purpose. 

In a desperate attempt to understand something that was done to me, I found porn. I never in a million years thought I would watch a porn video, but at the time it seemed like the only thing I could do.

His words, "You are supposed to like this" ran through my head over and over again as I typed. I didn't like it, I said it hurt, I said I wanted him to stop, and he said I was 'supposed' to like it?

5 Ways My C-section Made Me A Good Mother

Tuesday, September 15, 2015
    I have sat starring at this page for a while now, trying to think of how I should say what I am feeling. In a couple of weeks it will be two full years since the birth of my sweet baby girl Harper. TWO YEARS and I am just realizing now that I never wrote down the story of her birth. I could say this is because I have been so busy raising her, but that wouldn't be completely true. The real reason I have never wrote it is because my story was a lot different than the stories I saw all the other ladies posting.

    I didn't labor for 24+ long hours, I didn't time my contractions, and my husband didn't cut the chord. I do not have pictures of myself holding my baby post labor all teary-eyed and sweaty. I actually didn't sweat at all, not a single drop. There was nothing traditional about my experience. My baby was born as I lay completely immobile on a hard table, in an ice cold room, surrounded by people in masks holding knives. Harpers birth lasted a total of 25 minutes. 25 minutes was all it took to cut me open, take her out and close me up. There was no yoga balls for me, no chewing ice, no long awaited epidural. 

    What did I have in common with all these new mommies I saw posting pictures of themselves beaming with joy after suffering for days to bring their children into this world? 

    Absolutely nothing. 

    How could I say, "I would do it (labor) all over again" when all I really did was lay down for 25 effortless minutes? 

    I couldn't.

Family Pictures 2015

Friday, September 11, 2015

Just Horsin' Around

Sunday, July 26, 2015

So here is the deal.

I am one of those girls who prefers to spend her entire day riding horses, rather than shopping. 

The honest truth is that after about an a half hour shopping gives me a headache. Actually, strike that, now that I have a toddler the mere thought of going shopping gives me a headache! 

When I do go shopping about once every couple years, I tend to look at the price, not the label, so if you are ever wondering what brand my shirt is, I honestly will have no idea. 

Most of the time I don't have nail polish on. I don't know what is 'hot' in the fashion world right now. I use drugstore make up, and have never bought a single shirt that cost more than 20 bucks. 

To put it simply, I know a lot more about a Canter than I do about Chanel.

You Chose To Be A Mother

Saturday, May 2, 2015

This isn't a popular opinion and some might call me crazy for making motherhood my full time job at such a young age. But, I truly believe that I have the greatest career and instead of forcing me to give up my dreams and goals, being a mother has only enhanced all my abilities and efforts to be my best self. You truly can have it all. This is for all the mothers in the world who give 100% no matter what age they are, no matter what people say, and no matter the sacrifice. And, special thanks to my own mother who taught me what it means to be a mom, I hope one day to be as good a mother to my children as you are to yours. This one is for you. 

   You know what Mom?

    They all told you that you could have been a teacher, with your gift of language, and way with words. They all told you that you could have been a musician; no one made the piano sing like you did. They all told you that you could have got a masters, doctorate and PhD; brains like yours don't come to everyone. They all told you that you could change the world with the way you share service and organize events. They all told you that you could write novels that would hit the New York Times best sellers list. They all told you that you could travel the world, meeting people and seeing sights very few people are privileged to see.

    And you could have.

    But you didn't.

    You just looked back at them and with a firm resolution in your eyes (and faith in your heart) you pushed away all those dreams and told them, "I'm going to be a mother."

    And they laughed.

Easter 2015

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Happy Easter!

Holidays are always so much fun, especially with Harper!

We had so much fun at the big Easter egg hunt Grandma Smith threw for us!

Since I have so many siblings, we do Easter egg hunts a bit differently in my family. Instead of everyone going off to search for random eggs, we all get assigned a color. This makes it so everyone gets the same amount of eggs, and none of the tiny ones (like Harper) get left with only 4 eggs in their baskets, while the big kids find 50. It's much funner to search for your own eggs! 

Harper's assigned color was orange!